New here but struggling with deep depression

[Dels79]

Hi everyone.

I'm a 33 year old woman and I've been dealing with depression on and off since I was 14. I struggled pretty much by myself until I had help during my late teens. Since then I've been able to deal with things myself on some level.

But since July this year, it came back at me with a vengeance. I was stressed out at work and it all just hit me at once. I've been off work for almost 3 months now and even though I'm on medication, I feel no better. I'm really struggling with myself but I would never think about doing anything drastic.

My problems stem from childhood when I had been sexually abused by a neighbour. I remember everything. The reality of what happened to me didn't hit me until my teens though. But I also suffered the loss of my mum when I was 13, she'd been ill for 5 years leading up to that. Following this, I lost other family members and close friends through accident, disease and suicide. And lately all that emotional pain has turned me into a wreck. I've been looking for a counsellor but it's so expensive. I dunno how to get through it this time.

Any tips, advice or anything would be very much appreciated. Sorry for rambling but I just had to get this out.

[Assilem]

Hi there, I'm pretty new here myself and am going through a bit of relapse myself right now.
What you went through must have been awful. Are there any support groups for victims of sexual abuse near you? Being with people who understand your experiences would benefit I'm sure.
I wish I could be more help but i can't imagine what you feel as my depression stems more from medical issues add stress.

[Dels79]

Hey Assilem, thanks for the reply.

I've been looking for support groups for a while now but there's nothing conveniently close by. So will have to travel. It's so hard to find adequate help over here. I called lifeline to ask for help and completed an assessment, but that was nearly 3 weeks ago and I'm still waiting to hear back from them.

This morning I had a meeting in my workplace and they used my vulnerability to bully me into going back to work. I won't be going though, I'm not in any fit state to go back yet.

What do you do to get through your stress and depression? Relapses are horrible, they hit you like a brick wall.

[Frame]

Hi Dels79;

Our situations may different, but for me, interacting here does quite a bit of good. It doesn't substitute for, but supplements conversation with people in person. Nor, do I think, could the latter substitute for my posting here. There is a lot of self exploration going on here, by many members, that would be difficult even in therapy. It can happen here on your own terms at your own pace. And you get the input of experience from many places and lives.

So, among other tools, I think should consider this a potentially important one. Welcome.

[Dels79]

Hi Frame,
Thanks so much for the advice. I feel over this weekend that I've been taking some real steps into seeking help and it feels like a bit of weight has lifted off my shoulders.

I will definitely start interacting with people on here because I think what I've been missing is basic understanding from others going through depression. No matter who I've spoken to in my home life, they just can't see or understand exactly where I'm coming from.

Thanks for the welcome.