I don't know how I got here

[Del]

My mom's side of the family suffered from depression and when I was little I swore I'd never let it get to me. I've since failed that ideal. I used to have a lot of close friends, but people moved away, got busy, got relationships and no matter how many times I planned things or tried to talk I got cancelled on or shut out.

I was always very close to my siblings but as of late we haven't really been talking because they've been so busy. We all used to live in a house together too, but my one sibling left with his wife to go out west, another moved north with friends, and the last one is now renovating that house for his wife and kid and I ended up by myself. I've been busy too, overwhelmed by my job doing something that wasn't on my original contract. I often work at home or come in early to try to keep up.

I feel overwhelmed, over burdened, and completely burnt out. I'm tired and no matter how many times someone tells me it will get better or to hang in there I can't believe it. I just want to curl up and stop.

[Frame]

I know the feeling. I think that getting shut out as a child is something that can be passed down through generations, learned as easily as inherited, and can be the chronic stress that can develop into chronic depression. It's never that simple, but I think it may be a contributing factor in many cases.