It's been about five years, since i was a sophomore in high school, that i became depressed. I used to think i was just going to outgrow it and i guess that could still be true since i'm only 20 but it just gets worse and worse.
I'm at the point where if i get the chance to be alone in my bed for more than 5 minutes i'm thinking about killing myself and every time i start making plans with friends and getting out there and talking to people and sincerely having fun and enjoying my days and feeling like a normal person i'll catch a second where i realize that no one cares about me at all and why would they because i have absolutely no good qualities about me and that i'm nothing and then i can't show my face in public for a month until i'm bored and i start it all over again.
it's been five years, is it going to be forever?
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