Help Me.

[TamiHeart]

So..basically I have these two friends. A girl, and a boy. The girl is my best friend, she's basically like a sister to me. The boy he is also my best friend, but I also love him in other ways very much, and he feels the same, but we aren't exactly together right now. That's not the point to this this though.

Anyways... ever since I became depressed he hasn't been there for me as much as I want him too. Neither is the other friend. That really just makes things worse for me, and I always think they don't care because of that. But deep down I know they do, but in my mind I constantly think they don't.

When you guys are dealing with all of this with depression and all of that isn't there always a certin person or people you want there for you? Nobody else...just them. I'm always like that constantly, and I just get hurt more when they don't talk to me or just aren't there when I'm in my bad place.

Any advice or your own thoughts that could possibly help?

[Frame]

I'm not sure I'm a good example Tami. When I'm depressed I don't want anyone around. I have tender feelings for a few people, and I kind of miss them when their not around, but when they are around I just want them to go away. Come to think of it when I'm not depressed (keep in mind bipolar II never get very happy) I just sort put up with having people around; you know to drive, for the economy, to procreate, background noise. I make a show of being cozy but I don't think it comes off as very sincere. I guess that sounds narcissistic but...yea...depression does that to me. It's not a message of hope and support but I didn't want your post to go unanswered.

To tell the truth I haven't read of depressed people wanting anyone around; but I certainly know the feeling of needing people around. There is a new book out on managing adults with ADHD (I suspect that's the anchor I've been dragging around all my life.) and I heard the author on the radio today say that adults with ADHD (I think being depressed gives most people an attention deficit) need to understand that certain tasks they will always need help with. It's important to have a partner who can support our deficiencies; they might be simple and small but insurmountable by ourselves.

[scrabble]

Hi Tami

I understand exactly what you mean. For me, the person I have always wanted around to help me through my low times has been my wife. Unfortunately, while she has helped me she has never really understood or coped very well with my depression and is now leaving me, principally because of it, so I am going through much the same experience as you.

It is hard having to cope alone, but it can also be quite satisfying and liberating when you do manage a hard day or situation yourself. But I do feel your pain. Know that there are others here who will stand with you.

[TamiHeart]

That was actually kind of helpful. Thank you though for answering me.

[wanttobedead]

When you get depressed and need someone to talk to, friends leave.

It happens a lot, especially now, when the expectation is that you are not supposed to be inconvenienced.

They shove you away and don't want to see you again until you can be happy around them.

This is why you have literally millions of people combing the internet, and posting on sites like this one, looking for total strangers to unload on, and it's not even like you're talking to total strangers--just random words on a screen.

We treat strangers like friends and friends like strangers, and spend way too much time justifying the cold-hearted actions of friends when they scrape you off because you're not happy all the time.

When a friend leaves or makes themselves unavailable when you need nothing more than a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend, that person

does

not

care.

No excuses, no lies, no broken promises.

That kind of person does not care.

[4EverMe]

Yes! What you said? Eerily true...
I believe heightened technology and the decline of moral structure are our to blame. And the lack of a spiritual compass.

[karolanne]

I know that Internet and other technologies keep people from being together in real life and be active in their real life. But on another side, I know a lot of people like me that have nothing else than the web and that their friends on the web really help them. Of course, I could kick my ass and go outside, but believe me, I tried and it doesn't suit me.

So, I'm not ready to throw a rock to the web...

[SMcGregor]

Learn Peaceful Place techniques and meditate, changing any negativity by using the process of acceptance, co-operation, unconditional love and forgiveness.
What matters is: how equipped are we, in habits and lifestyle, to handle these losses.
Detailed assessment of the person’s lifestyle, habits, relationships, history, etc., to determine the source of the depressive feelings.

Regards,