At 26 my mother contracted polio. In the throws of it, she was paralyzed. Four weeks in an iron lung. Over time, she recovered enough to be mobile again. About 80%. BUt the nerve damage was done and that percentage would decline over the years...
Her body already damaged, mom fell and broke her leg in 1962. Later that year she had a partial hysterectomy. In late 1963, mom became pregnant with me (the fourth of four). The doctor repeatedly told her that she was going to lose the baby because her body just wasn't up to the task.
May, 1964, guess who pops out? Almost as if mom was telling the Docs and the world to screw-off.
As a kid mom used a cane. By my teen years she used a walker. By college she was in a wheelchair.
Life threw it all at her. And she faced it.
Towards the end of her life, she was 95 pounds. When I hugged her, I could feel every bone in her body.
Her spirit, though, couldn't be contained in her body. She had a fierceness, a sort of "bring it on" attitude. She was a lioness in heart and soul.
What My Mother Taught Me
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My uncle
My uncle was always in a good mood no matter what.
He had a kid, by accident, with this bitch. He bought a grocery that he lost, he opened a snack bar, he got cancer so he sold the snack bar in order to have a bit of money because he didn't have insurance. He would come back from chemo bent in half, because he was in pain. He was always asking me how I was doing, I would tell him "good and you?" he would always answer "fine" with a smile on his face.
He got a job at a curling club where he worked nights and week ends, he was treated like shit. He got cancer again. Then he got a job at a convenience where he would work nights and all the holidays.
He lost his house.
He was now in his mid 60's. He started to have problems with his diabetes he was starting to lose his toes so he couldn't work no more.
Then he got lungs problems and I saw him 1 week before he passed away, he was in a wheel chair, with oxygen and he kept spitting and spitting that stuff he couldn't swallow. I'll never forget one of the things he said that day. "life is still fun". I wish I have half his spirit.
He had a kid, by accident, with this bitch. He bought a grocery that he lost, he opened a snack bar, he got cancer so he sold the snack bar in order to have a bit of money because he didn't have insurance. He would come back from chemo bent in half, because he was in pain. He was always asking me how I was doing, I would tell him "good and you?" he would always answer "fine" with a smile on his face.
He got a job at a curling club where he worked nights and week ends, he was treated like shit. He got cancer again. Then he got a job at a convenience where he would work nights and all the holidays.
He lost his house.
He was now in his mid 60's. He started to have problems with his diabetes he was starting to lose his toes so he couldn't work no more.
Then he got lungs problems and I saw him 1 week before he passed away, he was in a wheel chair, with oxygen and he kept spitting and spitting that stuff he couldn't swallow. I'll never forget one of the things he said that day. "life is still fun". I wish I have half his spirit.
Thanks Pilule
Thanks Pilule;
You made my day.
Your uncle is the kind of person I want to be.
You made my day.
Your uncle is the kind of person I want to be.
Frame,
It depends how much your daughter knows about your situation.
In my case, I only realized that my father was probably depressed only a few years before he passed away.
One thing I know is that he was always in a bad mood and when he felt particularly miserable, he worked hard so everybody around him was miserable too.
Of course that wasn't helping me at all.
On the other hand I know a guy or two that are depressed and their kids never knew about it, so it didn't affect them.
If your kid sees you sad only once in a while it probably didn't affect her.
You said you where estranged from her, what happened?
It depends how much your daughter knows about your situation.
In my case, I only realized that my father was probably depressed only a few years before he passed away.
One thing I know is that he was always in a bad mood and when he felt particularly miserable, he worked hard so everybody around him was miserable too.
Of course that wasn't helping me at all.
On the other hand I know a guy or two that are depressed and their kids never knew about it, so it didn't affect them.
If your kid sees you sad only once in a while it probably didn't affect her.
You said you where estranged from her, what happened?
Fathers Love Your Daughters
I had joint custody until she went to college. Since then she has been living with Mom. I think that's the way it should be; she has more to learn from Mom than from me. We could see each other more; we work within blocks of each other; but I don't reach out, and she doesn't reach out. I guess I'm not great company, we're both busy, excuses, excuses. I just don't try hard enough.
Thankyou Nenkohai for what you shared about your Mom! I can tell she's a beautiful person. I'm just sorry she endured all of that
My Mom has a bunch of very serious health issues. She's 59 and can barely walk now. She has a heart of gold, is strong and doesn't want anyone to worry about her. Therefore, she might be minimizing just how bad off she is. She's my best friend. PLEASE pray for her!!!
Thankyou also to Pilule. He sounds like he was also amazing!
4EverMe--Hugs to you also
My Mom has a bunch of very serious health issues. She's 59 and can barely walk now. She has a heart of gold, is strong and doesn't want anyone to worry about her. Therefore, she might be minimizing just how bad off she is. She's my best friend. PLEASE pray for her!!!
Thankyou also to Pilule. He sounds like he was also amazing!
4EverMe--Hugs to you also
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