Asking for any help: negative into positive thinking

[akahachi]

I have depression and anxiety.

On bad days, I get very negative. Lately, there have been two occasions where I've sat in front of a pile of pills and just sort of stared at them for a bit before taking a long shower and going to bed. I get very desperate and don't know what else to do. I feel like I have no other way out during those times.

When I get anxious, sometimes I get so worried about making the wrong choice, I can't move. Like, I get so tense at the idea that I want to go with Option 1 because I'm being selfish and just wanting to do what I want. It feels like the worst thing anyone could do at those times- deciding to do something because they want to.

I speak to a psychiatrist twice a month and he is very kind and helpful but he doesn't really say the right things or give me anything to work on... It's a bit complicated and I don't really want to bad mouth him because I owe him and he is really doing what he can with a slightly awkward patient who doesn't really know how to explain herself.

So basically, do any of you have an tips for mental exercises I could try and do when I am having a bad day? I am extremely negative and tend to blow things out of proportion and have a hard time letting go. What can I do when I get like that? I have tried listing good things about myself to myself outloud but that doesn't really work that well in a public place

I am on medication- 10mg of anti-depressants but I'm going to gradually move up to 20mg and I take anti-anxiety drugs twice a day and sleeping pills every night.

Anything that has worked for you or you think will help me try and kind of re-train my brain would be greatly appreciated.

x

[hollyann]

Hi. Are you in therapy of any kind? A psych is usually more for the meds, and therapy is more to learn the needed coping skills.

Its good that you are trying to list and say positive things. And its hard like you said to do in a public place, but maybe you could just read them? Have them in a notebook, or a text message on your cell phone, so you can take them out and read them without anyone knowing what you are reading to remind yourself. Also the more you practice at home, the more you'll be able to think of the list without saying it out loud. Placing sticky notes that are encouraging in random places or on your computer screen can help too.

hollyann

[Willow1780]

akahachi,

I am not a health professional or anything like that but I can tell you what I did when I was in pretty much the same place you are.

I went online and I found a free online CBT training (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) program. It basically teaches your brain to think about things differently and teaches coping mechanisms.

I was in a place where I would literally freeze unable to make a choice and things would just get so much worse for me. The course was free, pretty easy to follow and actually helped me to be better prepared to deal with those particular problems.

Don't know if it will help but figured that I would share my experiences.

Thanks

Willow

[akahachi]

Hey! Thanks to both of you for the advise! Due to my situation at the moment, it's a little difficult for me to get in touch with a therapist but I'll get my post-it notes ready and check out that website.
It definitely feels a lot better when I feel like there's something I can do about it instead of just waiting for it to pass.

[Willow1780]

Akachachi,

this is the link that I downloaded the course I used from www.getselfhelp.co.uk It is a PDF file and it is pretty easy to follow.

I know what you mean about wanting to do something to make things better I have been told over and over that time heals all and being honest it really doesn't if you are just sitting around waiting for things to be OK, no for me any how.

The PDF helped to explain things to me and made me look at things a different way so I hope that it helps you.

Thanks

Willow

[akahachi]

Sorry I haven't been on here recently. I am now on a few more anti-depressants that I am responding well to and I actually thought I was improving when really, I think it was just as a result of a nice long trip home. So I'm going to download that file (thank you for that!) and track down a therapist in my area. I think talk therapy and hobbies are the way forward. My psychiatrist is really against me seeing a therapist for some reason, can any of you think why? I think talking about it to someone who will understand and know what to do is exactly what I need!

[Willow1780]

Would not worry about not being on here for a while as you say you were feeling better and all that so that has to be a better place to be IMHO. I cant think of a reason why someone would not want you to see a health professional but then I am not a health professional so they might have valid reasons. Hope that the link helps you it certainly did me but I was also lucky and had some really good friends to talk to as well. For me talking about it with friends was what really helped me to take back control of my life. Anyhow hope that things pick up for you what ever route you end up taking.

Willow