Getting it all out. (triggering material)

[elizabethjay]

I am alone, the only people I talk to being my family.

I ideate suicide throughout the day, every day.

I am stressed, anxious, angry, upset, and every time I'm home alone I walk around the house wondering if today would be a good day to end it.

I kick things when I'm alone, I used to self-harm but it doesn't do anything anymore.

I can't be bothered to study, and I know I'm going to have to repeat a grade again.

The only reason I'm still alive is because there are movies I want to see, and t.v shows I haven't finished watching.

I don't know what to do with my life or myself. I haven't been this emotional for a while, and I thought I was relatively all right, but I feel completely and utterly useless at the moment. It frustrates me to no end when one day I'm laughing, and the next I'm curled up in my sheets thinking 'no really, what is the point in living? I'm bored. It's not worth it.'

Sometimes I want to call an ambulance and tell them I'm going to kill myself, just so I'll get help.

[Juliet]

I'm gonna be honest I don't know what to say but feel like I need to reply to your post. I don't want you to feel alone

[hollyann]

If you are feeling like killing yourself you should go to a hospital and tell them you are having those thoughts and urges so that you can get the help you need.