i dont know how much longer i can handle feeling like this..

[_Ihatethislife/:]

I hate this.. I don't know how much longer I can handle it /: I haven't cut in like 2 weeks but it seems so long. I miss my blade, I miss how it used to feel when I would press it against my skin. I feel like NOBODY is there for me.. im tired of being depressed, im tired of pretending that im happy, tired of pretending that im fine, when in reality im still dying inside.. The urge to cut continues getting stronger /: im scared. I don't want to fall back into hurting myself but it seems like the right thing to do, it seems as if that's my only option. I just want somebody to be there for me and tell me that its going to be okay but no ones going to be there. and I know I have to stay strong for myself because no one can fix me. im tired of waiting, tired of having to be the one to ask for help, tired of pretending , tired of being the one to try to pick myself up again because nobody even bothers to ask if im okay. and for once I want it to be simple. to be helped. I want to be saved!

[nenkohai]

I am sorry you are going through all this. I'm sorry that you feel so alone. I wish I had something really useful to tell you. But, I read what you wrote. I was paying attention... I hope things might get at least a little better for you. If you write more, I'll read it. *hugs you*