Frustration.

[tarradiddle]

I just poured my damn heart out into a different post for more than an hour. I had carefully written down my life story, the good with the bad and was ready to ask for support in what I felt was a dignified way. I then discovered I had been 'timed out' by the site and all my effort was for naught. Because I am desperate for support I will instead give the condensed version.

Male, 22 years old.
Student, 4th year.
Picked on by older children at school.
Picked on by older brother's friends when a child.
Dated 3 females but never been kissed.
Unrequited love for (I will give her a false name) Jane for 6 years.
Suicidal at 16, 19, 22.
Depression on and off for 7 years.
Preoccupation with my ugliness, although others insist I am not ugly (if you were ugly, would you expect people to say so to your face???).
Incredibly shy and timid since 19.
Self-loathing.
Very good student (1st-class results).
Enjoyed acting until 19, when I effectively became a recluse.

There is more but I want to post SOMETHING now. If anyone has had similar experiences, please respond.

[metaLarsllica]

Tarradiddle

I am so sorry that your original post had timed out. I have had some of the same experiences. I myself was picked on kids from school and my older brother. It has been hard growing up and dealing with that. I also am like you. I believe no one is going to tell you to your face your ugly. I have a hard time accepting compliments as I feel that most are fake or you are pointing me out. I am in counseling and it has seemed to help some on accepting some things and dealing with the past. Are you possibly seeing a doctor or councilor? Could that be an option for you? Please feel free to check out our support chat room if you wish. Many there may have the same feelings and understanding.

meta