My story

[Always_Alone]

Em yeh this is kind of hard to do but hopefully it will help! Im a 19 year old girl who was actuly diagnosed with depression at 11 years old. i attempted my life by setting my house on fire and was self harming, my parents used to fight alot and my dad was physicaly abusive to my mam and nearly to my sister. he commited suiceide when i was 13 a week before my birthday so nearly 14, i had already been in and out of hospital before that and in an inpatient place but had finally gotten back into school. i was devastated. i was probebly the definition of a daddys girl and my whole world came apart when i had to come to terms with who he rele was towards my mam. dont get me wrong i still love him and i understand why he did what he did becus i have felt the same way. i hate the thought of other ppl judging him its mostly why i dont talk about it! after that my closest in age brother atttempted his life by taking an overdose he was admitted to the same place i had been. i cudnt help but feel like i had introduced all this to my family and it was all my fault i still feel like that , had i not put them thru all that with me who knows what cud have been better. the next year then my older sister did the same thing but got help and seems to be doing ok now, my brother has his moments, my 2nd youngest brother then attemptd his own life this time last year, i broke at that sttage i cant see how its not my fault that i led them all into this.i ended up in hospital myselfand i had been doing rele well even after going thru a pretty bad relationship but my brothers bak in hospital again nd i feel rele alone, i cant talk to neone becus my mam thinks im doin rele well nd i dnt want to let her down i cant, she needs my support shes an amazing woman coping thru all of this and i dnt want to let her down nemore, it just feels like im always going to be alone with it all, everytime i look at the scaras all on my arms i feel so ashamed nd guilty, its hard to know what will be best

[dandelion]

(((((((((((((( AlwaysAlone ))))))))))))))))

wow, you have gone through a lot, please dont give up and stay strong, wish i have something to say, but please remember that you have a lot in front of you, yes we have bumpy road on our journey, but dont let that gets you down. stay strong girl

love
dandelion

[crystalgaze]

It isn't your fault....!

We all have our moments....!

I know you don't want to let down your Mom.... Just do your best, ya? Your best will be good enough, so try not to stress yourself out too much!

Is there something you can do like go hug your Mom when you don't feel so great?

I find it's best to let my parents know when I'm not feeling so great--whether it's physical or mental. It's not really that they understand.... but that I don't want them to have a heart attack, if something went wrong some place.

Are there support groups where you live?? Those are just some of my thoughts.... Welcome to the forum! Hope to see you post more! There's lots of things to read too, so don't be a stranger!

[Always_Alone]

Thanks
it is nice to know there are other people here to talk too!
I tend to break down and cry when i hug my mam but thanks for the advice
I do try to let her know because i know shed want too but its hard to do
just trying to stay strong

[gardener]

Despite everything you have survived , I wish I could offer some advice.