Today was my birthday and to be honest, it was going so good until the night came. I'm so lost I don't know what to day. for the past 2hrs I have been having a panic/anxiety attack one after another and it doesn't stop. A part of me wishes I can just run away, leave my kids behind and just be alone but then the other part of me feels like staying depressed, sucking it up and being a mother. It sucks cause no one around me knows how I feel about myself inside. I stopped trying and gave up. Something I never wanted to do. I want it to stop, I want it all to just stop. I can't take it anymore. I want to just sleep and never wake up but if that happens my oldest kid wouldn't have either parent in their life and who knows if my other child would even have a dad to look after them. I don't know what to do! This stupid Virus isn't helping either. I feel like it's made things in my life a lot harder than what they already are. There's very few things I want to do just to make myself happy, but I can never motivate myself enough to actually commit to something.
Why? That's all I want to know, why was I given another year to be around when I don't want to be? I don't want to be here I just want the pain to go away.
Happy Birthday??
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Re: Happy Birthday??
I made an account just to reply to this. You shouldn't feel alone. Make sure that you tell someone the way you are feeling.
None of us get through life without some help. None of us are invincible, nor should we want to be.
Truly, happy birthday
None of us get through life without some help. None of us are invincible, nor should we want to be.
Truly, happy birthday
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Re: Happy Birthday??
I totally feel your pain, I wished there was some magic stuff to use. I guess there is not. But if there was i wished it could be used for you. I wonder myself the question of why, Why the hell live this long to only be so ... I hope you find peace.
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- Location: Birmingham UK
Re: Happy Birthday??
unknown93 wrote:Today was my birthday and to be honest, it was going so good until the night came. I'm so lost I don't know what to day. for the past 2hrs I have been having a panic/anxiety attack one after another and it doesn't stop. A part of me wishes I can just run away, leave my kids behind and just be alone but then the other part of me feels like staying depressed, sucking it up and being a mother. It sucks cause no one around me knows how I feel about myself inside. I stopped trying and gave up. Something I never wanted to do. I want it to stop, I want it all to just stop. I can't take it anymore. I want to just sleep and never wake up but if that happens my oldest kid wouldn't have either parent in their life and who knows if my other child would even have a dad to look after them. I don't know what to do! This stupid Virus isn't helping either. I feel like it's made things in my life a lot harder than what they already are. There's very few things I want to do just to make myself happy, but I can never motivate myself enough to actually commit to something.
Why? That's all I want to know, why was I given another year to be around when I don't want to be? I don't want to be here I just want the pain to go away.
You have kids. Invest time in them. Deal with anxiety in a methodical way. It is a state of mind and not an illness. Therapists can help you with anxiety attacks.
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