Depressed Husband and my feelings of rejection

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2020 5:01 pm

Depressed Husband and my feelings of rejection

Postby Trying86 » Wed Jan 15, 2020 5:18 pm

I've been recommended to join this post after speaking to my therapist.

My husband has had undiagnosed depression for 2+ years and next week will meet with a therapist for the first time to discuss his treatment.

My problem is I know I really struggle to ignore the symptoms and not make them about our relationship/how he feels about me.

When I was a teenager and in my early 20s I was in relationships when it was obvious that the other person was not interested in me long term. But I ignored these signs because I wanted it to work. Which would result in heartache and feeling foolish. Once I cottoned onto the pattern I told myself I must be hyper aware and critical of how men I am in a relationship behave around me and notice for signs of dissinterest and act on it.

Which is probably quite useful in dating. But not so much in living with a husband with depression. All I can see is the lack of affection, the lack of sense, the lack of connection, the lack of eye contact, the lack of engagement in conversation, the lack of laughter the lack of planning about future, the lack of playfulness the lack of fun the lack of appreciation - and make it all about my husband being disinterested in me and a need to run for the hills to protect myself.

My therapist says I need to educate myself about depression and reach out. But I'm wondering if anyone can help me with my need to spot disinterest and the fact that alot of the outward symptoms of depression are not dissimilar from disinterest?

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