Being asked an impossible question

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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BrokenPen
Posts: 150
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:18 am

Being asked an impossible question

Postby BrokenPen » Sat Dec 14, 2019 11:18 pm

In the various forum posts that I've made here about my girlfriend and how she has depression and possibly bi-polar, whenever she gets like this she often asks me a question that is both unfair and impossible to answer.

The question she asks me is, "with someone suffering as much as I am, would it not be merciful of me to die to end my pain and suffering?"

I know this is an unfair and impossible question because I can't answer it either way.

If I say "yes" then I'm condoning her wish for her life to end.

If I say "no" then she would ask me, "then you want to see me continue to suffer?"

How can one answer such a question when both outcomes are terrible?

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 363
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK
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Re: Being asked an impossible question

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:47 am

BrokenPen wrote:In the various forum posts that I've made here about my girlfriend and how she has depression and possibly bi-polar, whenever she gets like this she often asks me a question that is both unfair and impossible to answer.

The question she asks me is, "with someone suffering as much as I am, would it not be merciful of me to die to end my pain and suffering?"

I know this is an unfair and impossible question because I can't answer it either way.

If I say "yes" then I'm condoning her wish for her life to end.

If I say "no" then she would ask me, "then you want to see me continue to suffer?"

How can one answer such a question when both outcomes are terrible?

You dont have to give a one word answer. Emphasise the point strongly after you say no. So it sticks. She is not suffering more than everybody else. That is what depression does, it really blinds you into thinking that your all alone and theres no help, etc. Be inspirational when you tell her about how her life should go on. etc.
You can turn the tide, And change your life. Always. :wink:

Searching Freedom
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 7:39 am

Re: Being asked an impossible question

Postby Searching Freedom » Thu Jun 04, 2020 2:17 pm

BrokenPen wrote:In the various forum posts that I've made here about my girlfriend and how she has depression and possibly bi-polar, whenever she gets like this she often asks me a question that is both unfair and impossible to answer.

The question she asks me is, "with someone suffering as much as I am, would it not be merciful of me to die to end my pain and suffering?"

I know this is an unfair and impossible question because I can't answer it either way.

If I say "yes" then I'm condoning her wish for her life to end.

If I say "no" then she would ask me, "then you want to see me continue to suffer?"

How can one answer such a question when both outcomes are terrible?



Wow. This really is a tricky question, honestly. If you don’t mind, I’d like to try and answer with what I think.

Depression really takes everything from you. And you allow it. You don’t know what else to do. And there you are, being nothing, having nothing (you may say she has you and that is entirely true, but you have to understand that she can’t see that right now, at least not entirely) and having to deal with a huge amount of pain. I have been there myself and if I wouldn’t have discovered a reason to keep me alive... well, we woudn’t be having this conversation. I wanted the pain to just stop. The thought of suicide didn’t came in my mind because I actually wanted to die, but because I couldn’t live with that pain anymore. It was scary, frustrating, confusing. Horrible, to sum up.

So I couldn’t see that there was a purpose in all that pain. I couldn’t see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. All that I saw was that it hurt me. That I was shattered. I lived for so long just for wanting to die. Somehow I got over it. And now I can see everything so clear.

I believe that the answer to her question is “no”. No, it would not be merciful of her to die. And answering no to her question doesn’t mean that you want to see her suffer, but it means that you, in the position that you are in (which i find it really difficult to deal with), are capable of seeing that the end of all of her battles is not represented by more pain, but by happiness, freedom, peace. Killing yourself in the middle of the battle means taking away your chance of winning it. And to be happy all over again. She can’t see that there will be an end to her pain and you need to make sure that you’ll tell her that everyday. The war will end. The pain will stop. She just needs to fight with it for a little bit. Saying “no” to her question means that you have faith and that you believe in her. That you believe she will win this war and be better.


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