Just want to find way to help myself

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cheese_cake210
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:56 am

Just want to find way to help myself

Postby cheese_cake210 » Sat Nov 02, 2019 1:27 am

Hello everybody. I am a new member
I have been in depression for nearly 10 years. In that time, I lived with it maybe because it was not too serious. Until now, I go to work and have financial burden, it goes much worse than I think. I start to think about the reason why I exist, I feel isolated everywhere so I cut down nearly all of the connections with friends in high school (I disappeared, they texted and called but I denied answering). I feel quite relieved after that but then when I was alone, I feel bad about many things and recently I have cried a lot. I think my situation is worse and here I am. I hope someone can help or just can talk to me right now because I don’t know anyone else I can talk with. Thank you for your reading. I appreciate it.

littlestarsmum
Posts: 93
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Nov 04, 2019 12:49 am

Welcome to this forum, friend.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I know how difficult and frustrating it must be for you. Depression is a very complex issue that deserves personal and in-depth attention. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? Please know that you can always come here to share, and I’m sure you’ll find a lot of support. Stay strong.

Spleefy
Posts: 233
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby Spleefy » Mon Nov 04, 2019 4:59 am

Hi cheese_cake,

I like cheesecake, so the name makes my mouth water haha.

I used to cut off my associations when I had depression and anxiety, despite it making me feel even more isolated and lonely than I already felt. The irony.

It is best to resist this temptation and counterproductive behavior. A support network is very important.

Crying is good. Your situation may be worse, but it will get better. It’s great that you started to reach out, even if on a forum. Keep reaching out to people and build up a support network. It is unnecessary to face depression alone.

Is there a reason why you cannot reach out to your existing friends? Are they not supportive?

I will admit, when I had depression, I had ample support network of friends and professionals. Ironically, this did not seem to help and I wound up overcoming depression completely on my own, with zero support for it.

Nevertheless, I do believe that a support network is very important, whether we are depressed or not. Perhaps it comes down to the type of friends and associations we have. It also depends on ourselves—that is, are we deliberately or unknowingly pushing them away? People can’t help us if we push them away. Or perhaps we are not utilizing the support network in a productive manner.

Speaking for myself, the support network I had was pretty good, actually. But I was using them as a place to just vent—to talk about how my life sucked, how depressed I was, how much pain I was in, etc. I was like a broken record.

So no matter how much they listened to me or how much advice they offered me, I think I was more invested in venting to them instead of trying to do something about the depression.

This is because depression left me mentally and emotionally paralyzed and physically drained. It also had a way of taking away what little hope you try desperately to cling onto. I wanted to overcome depression, but I was suffering too much to do anything about it. And I was suffering because I had depression...

I felt like a weak swimmer caught in a high energy rip.

However, if you work on becoming a strong swimmer and you learn how rips work, you can get yourself out of it. I see depression as somewhat like a rip current.

While I was depressed, I worked hard on myself. I studied depression. I studied myself. I moved with it. I slept with it. I tried to even LOVE it! Depression was my best friend. It was my nemesis. I learnt what it was. I learnt how it was affecting me. I examined how it made me move and made me feel and think...

I became ONE with depression.

I reasoned that in order to understand depression I had to become one with it as well as learn to have a love-hate relationship with it.

After 10+ years living with depression, I finally figured out what it was all about. That is when I could let it go and just work on myself to make myself stronger than the "illness". Thus, once you figure out what depression is about and you make yourself a stronger swimmer, you will get out of the rip current of depression.

Surfers use rip currents to their advantage to get back out quickly. In my depression relapse several years ago, I had already had plenty of experience understanding depression and how it worked. Thus I was able to utilize depression to my advantage like a surfer does a rip. I corrected issues in my life that triggered the relapse in the first place. But I also discovered--thanks to depression--the missing link in my life. Because of depression, I took a spiritual path and soon realized that God was the missing link that I had been searching for my entire life, but did not know at the time.

I don’t like to give advice as a way to help people, as I don’t feel qualified to do it. Everybody’s situation is different, and each individual deals with things in their own way. Rather, I prefer to mostly share personal stories to illustrate in hope that it can motivate, inspire, encourage and give people ideas to apply in their own situations or circumstances. Life, and how we deal with life's problems, is in essence a personal journey.

So I hope you are able to find some gems in my personal story and apply it in your own life.

You can get through this. Depression just lets us know that we need to work on ourselves and make some adjustments. Depression is the result of neglecting ourselves for longer than we should have. Once you give yourself what it needs, depression has no choice but to dissipate.

I will leave you with a link to a motivational video on YT. This is a great lengthy motivational vid. I used to listen to these type of vids a lot, over and over to burn them into my heart and brain. I did this to hopefully hypnotize myself to the point that whatever I believe I could achieve. Although I have replaced all this with God and the Bible, I still enjoy listening to these every now and then because I do think they have value.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zrtdgdQVmk

The woman at the end of the clip (Louise Hay) at around 18:50 is outstanding. Her voice and message have a calming, powerful and motivating effect.

Hang in there, my friend.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

cheese_cake210
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:56 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby cheese_cake210 » Mon Nov 11, 2019 9:43 am

littlestarsmum wrote:Welcome to this forum, friend.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I know how difficult and frustrating it must be for you. Depression is a very complex issue that deserves personal and in-depth attention. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? Please know that you can always come here to share, and I’m sure you’ll find a lot of support. Stay strong.

It feels good when my story is responded. I really appreciate that I have found a place to share it. After telling it, I feel much better than before. For now, I am trying to work harder maybe not let myself think negatively. Thank you so much for your replying. I thought that I was ignored again.

cheese_cake210
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:56 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby cheese_cake210 » Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:09 am

Spleefy wrote:Hi cheese_cake,

I like cheesecake, so the name makes my mouth water haha.

I used to cut off my associations when I had depression and anxiety, despite it making me feel even more isolated and lonely than I already felt. The irony.

It is best to resist this temptation and counterproductive behavior. A support network is very important.

Crying is good. Your situation may be worse, but it will get better. It’s great that you started to reach out, even if on a forum. Keep reaching out to people and build up a support network. It is unnecessary to face depression alone.

Is there a reason why you cannot reach out to your existing friends? Are they not supportive?

I will admit, when I had depression, I had ample support network of friends and professionals. Ironically, this did not seem to help and I wound up overcoming depression completely on my own, with zero support for it.

Nevertheless, I do believe that a support network is very important, whether we are depressed or not. Perhaps it comes down to the type of friends and associations we have. It also depends on ourselves—that is, are we deliberately or unknowingly pushing them away? People can’t help us if we push them away. Or perhaps we are not utilizing the support network in a productive manner.

Speaking for myself, the support network I had was pretty good, actually. But I was using them as a place to just vent—to talk about how my life sucked, how depressed I was, how much pain I was in, etc. I was like a broken record.

So no matter how much they listened to me or how much advice they offered me, I think I was more invested in venting to them instead of trying to do something about the depression.

This is because depression left me mentally and emotionally paralyzed and physically drained. It also had a way of taking away what little hope you try desperately to cling onto. I wanted to overcome depression, but I was suffering too much to do anything about it. And I was suffering because I had depression...

I felt like a weak swimmer caught in a high energy rip.

However, if you work on becoming a strong swimmer and you learn how rips work, you can get yourself out of it. I see depression as somewhat like a rip current.

While I was depressed, I worked hard on myself. I studied depression. I studied myself. I moved with it. I slept with it. I tried to even LOVE it! Depression was my best friend. It was my nemesis. I learnt what it was. I learnt how it was affecting me. I examined how it made me move and made me feel and think...

I became ONE with depression.

I reasoned that in order to understand depression I had to become one with it as well as learn to have a love-hate relationship with it.

After 10+ years living with depression, I finally figured out what it was all about. That is when I could let it go and just work on myself to make myself stronger than the "illness". Thus, once you figure out what depression is about and you make yourself a stronger swimmer, you will get out of the rip current of depression.

Surfers use rip currents to their advantage to get back out quickly. In my depression relapse several years ago, I had already had plenty of experience understanding depression and how it worked. Thus I was able to utilize depression to my advantage like a surfer does a rip. I corrected issues in my life that triggered the relapse in the first place. But I also discovered--thanks to depression--the missing link in my life. Because of depression, I took a spiritual path and soon realized that God was the missing link that I had been searching for my entire life, but did not know at the time.

I don’t like to give advice as a way to help people, as I don’t feel qualified to do it. Everybody’s situation is different, and each individual deals with things in their own way. Rather, I prefer to mostly share personal stories to illustrate in hope that it can motivate, inspire, encourage and give people ideas to apply in their own situations or circumstances. Life, and how we deal with life's problems, is in essence a personal journey.

So I hope you are able to find some gems in my personal story and apply it in your own life.

You can get through this. Depression just lets us know that we need to work on ourselves and make some adjustments. Depression is the result of neglecting ourselves for longer than we should have. Once you give yourself what it needs, depression has no choice but to dissipate.

I will leave you with a link to a motivational video on YT. This is a great lengthy motivational vid. I used to listen to these type of vids a lot, over and over to burn them into my heart and brain. I did this to hopefully hypnotize myself to the point that whatever I believe I could achieve. Although I have replaced all this with God and the Bible, I still enjoy listening to these every now and then because I do think they have value.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zrtdgdQVmk

The woman at the end of the clip (Louise Hay) at around 18:50 is outstanding. Her voice and message have a calming, powerful and motivating effect.

Hang in there, my friend.

The sharing of your story is nearly close to me, I think. I am getting used to it but sometimes I cannot control my temper when I’m angry (I just want to break things to release all my feelings at that time). I hide it from everyone because they didn’t understand me or maybe I’m just afraid of being isolated and now I was :( every time I want to share, I feel that they don’t want to listen so from that moment, I decided to keep all of it and make a big obstacle prevent me from them. Now I am living with this situation, trying to work hard to forget it. I think the problem is still there, it just waits for right moment to jump out. Everybody says that I should talk more, open myself more but they are not me, how can they understand? This is the only place where I share everything I feel and has been listened. Thank you for that. After reading your story, I see your solution is quite the same with the one I plan to do. It also helps me to understand more about it. I have tried to find counseling but I cannot afford to pay the fee so that I came here. I want to ask you about how you could learn about it, I mean to know the depression better. I also want to understand more about this mental problem but I don’t know where the source is. If you know, can you share it to me please? It’s good to talk with you. I hope that we can be in touch in long time.

Spleefy
Posts: 233
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby Spleefy » Wed Nov 13, 2019 9:10 am

I used to have a bit of a temper myself lol. My family also has a temper, and I was brought up in an angry and violent environment.

My parents did not teach me how to manage my emotions. Well, how could they when they didn't even know how to manage their own emotions? So my temper was understandable at the time as I wasn't taught any differently.

I had to unlearn the faults of my parents, and parent myself to become a better person. I am now good at keeping my temper under control.

One of the main things I do when I feel my blood boil is take a breath and think about God or Jesus. And instead of reacting to the situation, I will act on it. For example, someone does or says something to me that I didn’t like. My blood will naturally boil immediately. The old me would react immediately very aggressively. But I really hate myself when I was like that, so I worked on changing it.

Nowadays, I will avoid reacting angrily and instead just bite my tongue and listen to them to get a better understanding of what is behind their words and where they are coming from.

When it is my turn to talk, I will be direct, but respond with tons of love, compassion, understanding. I let them know that I hear them. I let them know that I appreciate them and their position. I will do my best to make them feel validated, even if I feel they are at fault. But at the same time, I don’t allow myself to be mistreated by saying nothing aka I will be assertive, not passive.

It completely neutralises the situation immediately. You’ve not only treated yourself with respect but other people, too. You’ve kept both sides dignity intact. Furthermore, I don’t feel angry anymore, and they are even more likely to respond likewise and more willing to listen and understand my side.

If a situation makes me angry (which is uncommon), I do something similar by changing my perspective.

It takes practice, but gets much easier the more you do it, just like anything else.

The Bible helps me a lot because it instructs us to keep our anger under control—think Cain and Abel.

I do think talking about our feelings is healthy. However, sometimes we will have bad experiences when we do this, which in turn puts us off talking to people about how we feel altogether.

As for your question…

I have researched about depression as an “illness”, including the causes, risk factors, signs and symptoms, and treatments.

I’ve also read many medical journals about depression, the different theories of depression, how it affects our brain (particularly the hippocampus part of the brain), the role of stress in depression, how it affects our memory, learning, cognition, behavior, neurotransmitter imbalances, etc.

I’ve looked at medical journals and books about herbs, foods, and supplements that can help with depression.

I studied naturopathy to understand human health better so that I could hopefully use what I learnt to overcome my own depression.

I have also looked into the Buddhism perspective on depression and how to overcome it from their viewpoint. It’s actually an interesting viewpoint that I find valuable.

I have also looked into the Biblical viewpoint of depression.

I have sought help from doctors, therapists, psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellors, and youth workers. I learnt a bit about depression, but mostly effective coping strategies from them. It didn’t work at the time because I was too depressed to be responsive to psychotherapy, but it comes in handy in my life now.

In my depression experience, I developed several of my own theories as to why I was depressed and possible solutions. I thought I was onto something. But when experimented on myself, they didn’t work. It was just the short burst of motivation that gave me hope, but with no lasting results. Eventually I discovered my own way out, which is what everyone with depression needs to do.

There are many causes and risk factors for depression, and it will vary from person to person.

As such, I will use myself as a case study to give you an idea of how I approached my own depression and anxiety…

The causes and risk factors to my depression include…

> Genes
> Environment
> Neurotransmitter imbalances
> Traumatic childhood experiences and poor upbringing
> Lack of family connections, love, support and encouragement
> Lack of resources, financial stress, etc
> My personality traits that were learned from my upbringing (e.g., low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, anxiety, insecurities, etc.)
> Prolonged stress
> Loneliness
> Unfulfilment
> And so forth

I was a damaged goods, that’s for sure. Then to top it off, depression just added more issues to the mix, altering my personality so that I was just an empty shell of my former self.

Then I had comorbid anxiety to compound things, with depression feeding the anxiety and anxiety fuelling the depression. Lovely.

Then when I learnt more about how depression causes atrophy of part of our brain that affects memory and learning, then I felt like I was screwed. I thought, that explains why I have a terrible memory and a learning disability lol. I laughed and cried at the same time about this :lol:

So not only did depression kill my personality, but now I had a small brain to match my dead personality.

So I understood very well what was going on in my life that made me depressed and was keeping me depressed.

I knew that I had to do something about the depression because I couldn’t live like this. I was fed up living with depression and growing angry from it. The only problem was, I had no idea how I would accomplish this mission.

I mean, how do you overcome depression when it paralyses you on so many levels? I’m sure you know full well yourself what this feels like.

I tried different things to overcome depression. I read self-help books. I listened to motivational speakers or life coaches, I saw a therapist, counsellors, youth workers, doctors, psychiatrist, and I even tried medication...

None of it worked.

At best, I had short-lived motivation… but the depression remained.

I thought that if depression originates from my poor upbringing and life, then all I had to do was choose to change my life and take action. Easier said than done when you're imprisoned in your own negative and highly distorted view of self and the world, always thinking about ending your life, and suffering so much from the time you open your eyes to the time you sleep. It is hard to be driven to positively change your life when all you want to do is end it to stop the unbearable pain, when you are empty, when you are exhausted, when you are feeling helpless and hopeless.

I could not figure out what was wrong with me nor could I seem to make any progress. Whatever progress I made, I felt just as miserable and helpless.

As I said, the cause/s will be different for everyone. But the one thing I discovered was that all the “positive talk” in the world won’t help if your neurotransmitters that are responsible for your happiness and well-being are out of whack.

I reasoned that by trying to overcome depression, I was focusing on depression. This was an old theory that I developed way back when. However, the approach I tried at the time was to redirect it to changing my thinking and perspective in life.

It didn’t occur to me at the time I was doing this that my health was counteracting it. My biochemistry was out of whack, so it was impossible to sustain positive thoughts, think rationally, or to put things into perspective.

This also works with premise that antidepressant medication makes you more receptive to psychotherapy, hence why both are more effective together than just psychotherapy alone.

However, I also learnt in my journey whilst studying naturopathy that depression is not a Prozac deficiency. Synthetic antidepressants was not going to deal with the cause of depression. Furthermore, if my diet wasn't supporting good health, then it would only counteract the effects of the synthetic antidepressants anyway.

So rather than redirect my focus to changing my thoughts, I used my reasoning mentioned above to redirect it to optimizing my health. Health was the key. I figured I would make my health stronger than the illness, as my thinking at the time was that disease cannot exist in a healthy body.

I also changed my environment so that I could give myself the best opportunity to make positive changes and thrive.

The result: My diet, lifestyle, and exercise rebalanced my biochemistry... naturally and without side effects that drugs give you. And, because my body was pumping out neurotransmitters that I need to be happy in adequate and balanced amounts, my thought patterns naturally reflected this. In other words, my view of self and the world was much more balanced.

I still had to recreate and reprogram myself because, while I was living with depression for so many years, I developed bad thinking patterns and behaviors that reflected my depressed state of mind. So I had to recreate myself based on my new found perspective of self and the world.

It will be different for everyone. Once you identify and correct the weaknesses or areas in your life that need improving, depression has no choice but to dissipate or at least be more manageable. Well, that is what I believe, anyway.

For me, the first place I would start is making sure to establish a healthy environment, diet, and lifestyle. This will at least give you the best opportunity to make positive changes and adjustments in your life. It will also make it easier cope.

Lowering stress is also key. I was studying while I was depressed, so I had increased stress from the study and melt downs many times over. But I ate a strict diet of nutritious foods and exercised regularly to counteract the stress and to cope better physically and mentally.

Never underestimate the importance of nutrition and exercise. I feel that many people neglect these two fundamental aspects of our lives. It will be a natural antidepressant, help you to cope with stress, make you stronger and more resilient, and it will ensure that your body has what it needs to function properly.

For me, it was enough to help me move to the next phase of my depression journey, which was to reprogram myself and recreate my life. It will always take work… our health and lives take work. Just like a garden requires regular nurture and maintenance, so too do our lives.

I hope this helps.

**********************
I was looking up something else, but came across a quote by Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung: "What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size".

I didn't get too in-depth with what this means according to Carl Jung because of time constraints at the moment, but it makes sense in my own experience.

I found it interesting because I've said in this and other posts that trying to overcome depression meant that I was focusing on depression. This makes sense why it persisted and I couldn't move forward from it. I was resisting depression, trying to push it away. Only, by doing this, I ended up attracting more of it into my life. Not only that, but the more I tried to fight depression off, the weaker I became and the stronger depression grew.

So it makes sense that when I stopped resisting it, embraced depression in my life, and redirected my focus to something else (my health in this instance), it dissolved. Very interesting! As I said in other posts, accepting depression in my life actually was the turning point where I could make positive change and progress. This is contrary to what we would naturally do, but it seemed to work. And this quote gives me a clearer picture and better understanding of why it worked.

**********************
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

cheese_cake210
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:56 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby cheese_cake210 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:50 pm

Spleefy wrote:I used to have a bit of a temper myself lol. My family also has a temper, and I was brought up in an angry and violent environment.

My parents did not teach me how to manage my emotions. Well, how could they when they didn't even know how to manage their own emotions? So my temper was understandable at the time as I wasn't taught any differently.

I had to unlearn the faults of my parents, and parent myself to become a better person. I am now good at keeping my temper under control.

One of the main things I do when I feel my blood boil is take a breath and think about God or Jesus. And instead of reacting to the situation, I will act on it. For example, someone does or says something to me that I didn’t like. My blood will naturally boil immediately. The old me would react immediately very aggressively. But I really hate myself when I was like that, so I worked on changing it.

Nowadays, I will avoid reacting angrily and instead just bite my tongue and listen to them to get a better understanding of what is behind their words and where they are coming from.

When it is my turn to talk, I will be direct, but respond with tons of love, compassion, understanding. I let them know that I hear them. I let them know that I appreciate them and their position. I will do my best to make them feel validated, even if I feel they are at fault. But at the same time, I don’t allow myself to be mistreated by saying nothing aka I will be assertive, not passive.

It completely neutralises the situation immediately. You’ve not only treated yourself with respect but other people, too. You’ve kept both sides dignity intact. Furthermore, I don’t feel angry anymore, and they are even more likely to respond likewise and more willing to listen and understand my side.

If a situation makes me angry (which is uncommon), I do something similar by changing my perspective.

It takes practice, but gets much easier the more you do it, just like anything else.

The Bible helps me a lot because it instructs us to keep our anger under control—think Cain and Abel.

I do think talking about our feelings is healthy. However, sometimes we will have bad experiences when we do this, which in turn puts us off talking to people about how we feel altogether.

As for your question…

I have researched about depression as an “illness”, including the causes, risk factors, signs and symptoms, and treatments.

I’ve also read many medical journals about depression, the different theories of depression, how it affects our brain (particularly the hippocampus part of the brain), the role of stress in depression, how it affects our memory, learning, cognition, behavior, neurotransmitter imbalances, etc.

I’ve looked at medical journals and books about herbs, foods, and supplements that can help with depression.

I studied naturopathy to understand human health better so that I could hopefully use what I learnt to overcome my own depression.

I have also looked into the Buddhism perspective on depression and how to overcome it from their viewpoint. It’s actually an interesting viewpoint that I find valuable.

I have also looked into the Biblical viewpoint of depression.

I have sought help from doctors, therapists, psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellors, and youth workers. I learnt a bit about depression, but mostly effective coping strategies from them. It didn’t work at the time because I was too depressed to be responsive to psychotherapy, but it comes in handy in my life now.

In my depression experience, I developed several of my own theories as to why I was depressed and possible solutions. I thought I was onto something. But when experimented on myself, they didn’t work. It was just the short burst of motivation that gave me hope, but with no lasting results. Eventually I discovered my own way out, which is what everyone with depression needs to do.

There are many causes and risk factors for depression, and it will vary from person to person.

As such, I will use myself as a case study to give you an idea of how I approached my own depression and anxiety…

The causes and risk factors to my depression include…

> Genes
> Environment
> Neurotransmitter imbalances
> Traumatic childhood experiences and poor upbringing
> Lack of family connections, love, support and encouragement
> Lack of resources, financial stress, etc
> My personality traits that were learned from my upbringing (e.g., low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, anxiety, insecurities, etc.)
> Prolonged stress
> Loneliness
> Unfulfilment
> And so forth

I was a damaged goods, that’s for sure. Then to top it off, depression just added more issues to the mix, altering my personality so that I was just an empty shell of my former self.

Then I had comorbid anxiety to compound things, with depression feeding the anxiety and anxiety fuelling the depression. Lovely.

Then when I learnt more about how depression causes atrophy of part of our brain that affects memory and learning, then I felt like I was screwed. I thought, that explains why I have a terrible memory and a learning disability lol. I laughed and cried at the same time about this :lol:

So not only did depression kill my personality, but now I had a small brain to match my dead personality.

So I understood very well what was going on in my life that made me depressed and was keeping me depressed.

I knew that I had to do something about the depression because I couldn’t live like this. I was fed up living with depression and growing angry from it. The only problem was, I had no idea how I would accomplish this mission.

I mean, how do you overcome depression when it paralyses you on so many levels? I’m sure you know full well yourself what this feels like.

I tried different things to overcome depression. I read self-help books. I listened to motivational speakers or life coaches, I saw a therapist, counsellors, youth workers, doctors, psychiatrist, and I even tried medication...

None of it worked.

At best, I had short-lived motivation… but the depression remained.

I thought that if depression originates from my poor upbringing and life, then all I had to do was choose to change my life and take action. Easier said than done when you're imprisoned in your own negative and highly distorted view of self and the world, always thinking about ending your life, and suffering so much from the time you open your eyes to the time you sleep. It is hard to be driven to positively change your life when all you want to do is end it to stop the unbearable pain, when you are empty, when you are exhausted, when you are feeling helpless and hopeless.

I could not figure out what was wrong with me nor could I seem to make any progress. Whatever progress I made, I felt just as miserable and helpless.

As I said, the cause/s will be different for everyone. But the one thing I discovered was that all the “positive talk” in the world won’t help if your neurotransmitters that are responsible for your happiness and well-being are out of whack.

I reasoned that by trying to overcome depression, I was focusing on depression. This was an old theory that I developed way back when. However, the approach I tried at the time was to redirect it to changing my thinking and perspective in life.

It didn’t occur to me at the time I was doing this that my health was counteracting it. My biochemistry was out of whack, so it was impossible to sustain positive thoughts, think rationally, or to put things into perspective.

This also works with premise that antidepressant medication makes you more receptive to psychotherapy, hence why both are more effective together than just psychotherapy alone.

However, I also learnt in my journey whilst studying naturopathy that depression is not a Prozac deficiency. Synthetic antidepressants was not going to deal with the cause of depression. Furthermore, if my diet wasn't supporting good health, then it would only counteract the effects of the synthetic antidepressants anyway.

So rather than redirect my focus to changing my thoughts, I used my reasoning mentioned above to redirect it to optimizing my health. Health was the key. I figured I would make my health stronger than the illness, as my thinking at the time was that disease cannot exist in a healthy body.

I also changed my environment so that I could give myself the best opportunity to make positive changes and thrive.

The result: My diet, lifestyle, and exercise rebalanced my biochemistry... naturally and without side effects that drugs give you. And, because my body was pumping out neurotransmitters that I need to be happy in adequate and balanced amounts, my thought patterns naturally reflected this. In other words, my view of self and the world was much more balanced.

I still had to recreate and reprogram myself because, while I was living with depression for so many years, I developed bad thinking patterns and behaviors that reflected my depressed state of mind. So I had to recreate myself based on my new found perspective of self and the world.

It will be different for everyone. Once you identify and correct the weaknesses or areas in your life that need improving, depression has no choice but to dissipate or at least be more manageable. Well, that is what I believe, anyway.

For me, the first place I would start is making sure to establish a healthy environment, diet, and lifestyle. This will at least give you the best opportunity to make positive changes and adjustments in your life. It will also make it easier cope.

Lowering stress is also key. I was studying while I was depressed, so I had increased stress from the study and melt downs many times over. But I ate a strict diet of nutritious foods and exercised regularly to counteract the stress and to cope better physically and mentally.

Never underestimate the importance of nutrition and exercise. I feel that many people neglect these two fundamental aspects of our lives. It will be a natural antidepressant, help you to cope with stress, make you stronger and more resilient, and it will ensure that your body has what it needs to function properly.

For me, it was enough to help me move to the next phase of my depression journey, which was to reprogram myself and recreate my life. It will always take work… our health and lives take work. Just like a garden requires regular nurture and maintenance, so too do our lives.

I hope this helps.

**********************
I was looking up something else, but came across a quote by Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung: "What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size".

I didn't get too in-depth with what this means according to Carl Jung because of time constraints at the moment, but it makes sense in my own experience.

I found it interesting because I've said in this and other posts that trying to overcome depression meant that I was focusing on depression. This makes sense why it persisted and I couldn't move forward from it. I was resisting depression, trying to push it away. Only, by doing this, I ended up attracting more of it into my life. Not only that, but the more I tried to fight depression off, the weaker I became and the stronger depression grew.

So it makes sense that when I stopped resisting it, embraced depression in my life, and redirected my focus to something else (my health in this instance), it dissolved. Very interesting! As I said in other posts, accepting depression in my life actually was the turning point where I could make positive change and progress. This is contrary to what we would naturally do, but it seemed to work. And this quote gives me a clearer picture and better understanding of why it worked.

**********************

I agree with you that a balance diet will be an important part in the treatment. I have tried and it has really improved a lot. A healthy body will help to reduce depression increasing but it has to be kept forever. I also read in somewhere that a healthy life will help people create hormone which prevent stress. I absolutely understand all of your response, I am now learning and working hard everyday to move on, to have a better life. My opinion is the same with you and probably the same situation that this disease come from the poor in living and thoughts, so I decide to get out by trying my best. None stop trying is my purpose now, it makes me have motivation in life again. That's amazing!
I partly understand my situation right now after reading your case. It seems that I have my own plan to fight with depression already. Thank you so much for that! Obviously, talking negatively is not a good way but some people around me just keep doing that, it makes me angry sometimes so that I decide to change the direction like you have said by wearing headphones on in order not to hear that. It's quite hard for me when I try to explain about how to improve the depressed situation to someone and they don't understand, they just keep complaining over and over again. Maybe I will try your way to let them understand. Your last part about a quote of Carl Jung is absolutely true. I finally understand it when I focus on studying and working instead of stress.Once again, thank you! Wish you have all the best in life and win this fight.

genemassey564
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2019 10:47 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby genemassey564 » Sat Nov 16, 2019 10:50 am

Hello i am new here i read your article and i am facing these types of problem from past 5 yaers :(

Spleefy
Posts: 233
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby Spleefy » Sun Nov 17, 2019 7:44 am

genemassey564 wrote:Hello i am new here i read your article and i am facing these types of problem from past 5 yaers :(


Welcome, genemassey. It's incredible how long depression can affect our lives. I hope you find comfort here and you are able to get the support you need to work though your own depression experience.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

Felix2989
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:20 am

Re: Just want to find way to help myself

Postby Felix2989 » Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:29 am

Hi……… I am a new member and I found a YouTube video that explains a few simple ways to treat depression. Here’s a link to a video that gives some great tips.

https://dausel.co/UO0qrF

Click on that link above and once you land on the page, click where it says, “I am not a robot” and then you will be redirected to the YouTube video that shows how to treat depression. Please, feel free for comments and let me know if you recommend these tips. Also, if you know other type of help do not hesitate to share it.

Thanks! :D


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