I think society has it wrong

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I think society has it wrong

Postby Jax_Vespin » Sat Aug 17, 2019 8:00 pm

Anyone with self harm scars is shamed and ridiculed for having them, but people who have scars from fights are 'cool'.
But self harm scars are really battle scars, just from a different kind of battle. What they don't realize is that a battle within yourself is still a battle. And self harm scars just show that someone needs help fighting their battles.
Because depression is just a fight and you either win or you lose. And just like any fight, it's easier to fight with help and really hard to fight alone.

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Re: I think society has it wrong

Postby Spleefy » Sat Aug 17, 2019 10:09 pm

Hi Jax_Vespin,

May I ask who shames and ridicules those with self-harm scars? And who thinks scars from fights are 'cool'? It sounds like you could be hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Self-harm is a highly self-destructive way to cope with emotional pain. Therefore, I believe it is frowned upon because of the self-destructive nature of the behavior that led to the scars, rather than the scars themselves.

Quite possibly, then, this could lead to the one cutting to feel like they are being shamed or ridiculed. Of course, you’ll get the few that do shame you for it. But you get those type of people in life, whether it is for cutting or something else. However, the self-destructive behaviour, whether cutting or suicide or self-medication with drugs or alcohol, etc., is highly discouraged for obvious reasons.

You are right that people who self-harm need help and support. Coping with depression certainly is easier with the right team of people on your side than it is alone. I hope you find a good team of people to help you with your “battles.”
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

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Re: I think society has it wrong

Postby athena.vhd » Sun Aug 18, 2019 4:15 am

dear spleefy i think Jax_Vespin is all right.
as i remember my first attemp for suicide i didnt tell my friends and used to were long sleeves.
one of kids undrestood he didnt ask me if i want help or not he just told that ur scar is coolest i have seen u have cut it so deep and long.
and i was so amazed by ppl around me they just were talking that girl is so cool she has a huge scar :!: :!: :!: :!:
that time i needed attention but not in this way

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Re: I think society has it wrong

Postby Spleefy » Sun Aug 18, 2019 6:47 am

I have spoken to a few people in the past who cut. One friend whom I was close to did it. I did some research on "cutting" as well as asked her more about it to gain a greater understanding of why she did it. The problem is, I've noticed cutting can be addictive and habit forming. I tried my best to discourage her from doing it and replace it with healthier alternatives. "Replace" is the key word here, because I learnt that we don't stop behaviours, but replace them. So finding something better to replace cutting was the goal.

However, when the emotional pain was unbearable, the urge to resort to cutting was strong. I made her promise to call me anytime, day or night, whenever she got that urge. I kept encouraging her to replace that behaviour (cutting) with a healthier coping method. It worked for the most part, all but the one time she did cut. Consistency was the key. Also, having an accountability system in place I think helped immensely.

Thank you for shedding some more light on it. Everyone copes differently, and I enjoy very much learning from other people the reasoning behind the things they do. It is intriguing.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

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Re: I think society has it wrong

Postby j2415 » Tue Aug 20, 2019 9:05 am

I’m very sorry to hear you are going through this.
Depression is real and you are right, it’s hard to fight alone. Talk to someone you can trust. If you can, try to surround yourself with people who will pray and encourage you. Being in a support group will help you not to feel alone and feel less lonely.

I pray for peace and for your complete healing. Take care of yourself. God bless.

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