Hello all

[Jm131]

Hi all,

I'm struggling, struggling very much. I've not felt this down and out ever, even when I was unsuccessful hurting myself... That was close to three years ago, and since I've been struggling to stay afloat, to find a reason to get up, to live, to move, to want to do something fun. Each day gets progressively worse and worse.

I use to enjoy life back when, say seven years ago,,, I have had depression for 27 years now, with it getting progressively worse... I had tried, unsuccessfully to od on pain medicine, depression meds, sleeping pills and alcohol... If amazing I'm alive.

Since then all I think about is how to be successull, at committing suicide. I just read an article about "sneezing" and I can't say I've ever read a writing Crome someone else that feels the same as I. It was spot on.

I have a lot of challenges in front of me and I don't see a way out, other than death, I have no will or drive left in me. An aquentance died by his own hand not long ago and all I could feel was jealously. I was never like this. I need help, I've been down the emedicine, counseling, hospitAl routes before. I don't want to go through it again, why? Why should I?

That's all I'm going to write for now.