I screwed up.

[Pamela1988]

A few years back I met this guy online, we hit it off in no time. We became amazing friends. Talked about everything everyday.
I still had a life besides talking to this man online. Friends/family and work. But I couldn't go a day without talking to him. Eventually we exchange numbers.
One day while on the phone a "I love you" slipped out. And he said it back. The feeling between us was unexplainable.. this went on for a while. We video chat, called each other, wrote letters. But years went by without actually meeting.
I screwed up and met another guy on my way home from work. He's a friend of one of my good friends. Anyways him and I hungout for awhile. At the same time I'm still taking to the man i met online. Neither not knowing of each other of course. I ended up getting pregnant by the guy that I've been hanging out with. Who I had no feelings for really. I don't believe in abortions so I figured I'd stay with the father.i told the man online what was going on and broke it off. It didn't seem like it was going anywhere anyway..
I had my beautiful healthy son 8months ago and he makes me unbelievably happy . Now the problem is the father.. there's nothing there. He doesn't make me happy. And I can't go a day without thinking about the man I met online.. I don't know what to do. I feel like a horrible person. I want my son's father to be in his life. And I don't think the man online wants anything to do with me.

[Helloraspberries1]

Hi Pamela, I'm sorry to hear about your story. I do feel for you. I really do.

I don't know what it's like to get to know someone you really like and moving on with someone else. Although, I know feeling you can't live your life without them is something I do know.

I see you tried moving on with your life since you and this guy was only online friends. You thought every goof reason to move on as you thought nothing was gonna happen. I'm pretty sure if you continued getting to know him online without meeting up with him your feelings would of still remained the same so don't beat yourself up for not giving him a chance at the time.

There are reasons why you thought about not meeting him which I don't think was going to change. You may still feel like this now. However, of course your going to think what if.

As you have moved on with your own life. It's a good idea to start concentrating on yours and ask yourself. What do I want out of life? Am I happy? Is there more I can do as a person? What's holding me back? By asking these questions you should get a quick answer and whatever the answer is follow it up.

You know yourself better then anyone else so do what you think feels right. If you think this guy online is for you then go for it. If you don't, then forget him.

Just be honest and open with yourself. Your not doing anything bad.

Wish you luck.

Helloraspberries1 x