Ruminating and depression

[shantyboat]

Long family history of depression and ruminating voices. In therapy for years. On meds. Working to get better. Buddhist. Love dogs. Have a challenge with rumination around interations with others.

Great grand father killed himself. Grandmother didn't get out of bed for the last decade plus of her life. Mother drank herself into alcohol induced dementia. All four of my siblings are on meds.

And i've gotten worse through the years, not better, though I have my moments up and down off the day to day sort of thing.

Married for almost 30 years, and I trust my wife, which is a gift.

Two kids growing up, both with challenges, but they are navigating those challenges OK. WOrked for same company, the one I dreamed of working at since middle school, for more than 36 years. I retire in less than two years. I've built boats, I've learned to fly powered parahutes, I have a coupoe of motorcycles, and on and on.

But I have depression.

Working at it, but it's a f****** challenge sometimes.

Working at it.

[100footpole]

Just letting other's know that I am making it often gives me a positive feeling.

[jaxwoot]

Ruminating - this rings a bell! I struggle with this daily, and really struggle to sleep as I'm always worrying or ruminating about one thing or another. Thanks for sharing, it's always good to know you're not alone in these things. It's nice to see you sharing some blessings you have in your life too. Depression is such a challenge alright - you never know when it will strike. Hope you're enjoying the forums.

[nenkohai2]

Shantyboat,

I get it - the whole working on it idea. 51 here. I hope it eases for you. have you ever looked at depression in light of the Four Noble Truths? Just a thought. I've done that and it was helpful. To a point. Depression and the thoughts that arise with it are quite non-rational sometimes.

I relate.

I hope you're day is good.