Who'd have believed it?

[Spirt]

I never would have thought 5 years ago that I would have been here now writing. How life changes! Apprehensive, but hoping to discover that I'm not a failure for feeling like I do

[IrishBlue]

Hi Spirt,

I know exactly how you feel, I never thought that would ever be doing any thing like this either, but believe me you will feel better and the reaching out really is the first step, it will get better and all this will pass, I don't use this as a platitude it , I sincerely mean it, don't give up and keep coming back and posting.

[Spirt]

Thanks IrishBlue

There are times I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but then it all seems to fall apart again.
Anti depressants seem to work but certainly don't want to be on them forever and it seems to reinforce my feeling of failure at the inability to cope
Writing has certainly helped: more than I could have thought

[IrishBlue]

Spirt
Don’t give up, keep aiming for the light at the end of the tunnel, you will emerge in to the day again, we all have to hope for that. Using anti-depressants, is not a sign of failure, we are suffering from a disease, if we had a broken leg, we would get it set and take pain killers.
I also find that putting your thoughts down on paper can be quite therapeutic, I find that, dating them and rereading them, a few days later, can be a great help.