Not again

[Unity]

I haven't slept yet. I work 2:30 pm to 12:30 am. Now that it's light out I'm not sure if I will sleep. I need to be honest with my Dr. and tell him I'm abusing the methylphenidate he prescribed. I'm worried about going back to sleeping 12 hours a day. I'm worried about letting him down. I'm worried the depression will get worse, I can't put my family through all that happens then.

I'm tired of being a modern-day hermit. I actually want to interact with others (besides work) but it's been so long I don't really have anyone to reach out to. If it weren't for my pets I'd really feel alone. Food continues to be too much of a focus.

I feel feel like it all boils down to laziness. If I would just get off of the couch and walk the dogs, it's been weeks (I have a fenced in back yard for them). If I would just bother to cook real food instead of relying on candy and frozen pizza.

Why don't I care enough about the important things to get moving? It's like I have two minds, one knows what is the right thing to do and the other tells me "it" doesn't matter, lets me rationalize and justify my inaction.

I've been here before, I don't want to go down this road again. How can I know better and not do better?

[ThePolisher]

Hiya. Why don't you want to walk your dogs?