Reaching out

[AmberLee]

Does anyone ever feel like they are on a roller coaster going 90 to nothing, and just want to get off? That has been me lately. My depression has haunted me for years, a lot of times I put it on the back burner, or sweep it under the rug. I am a co-dependent as well, and if anyone puts others first co-dependents do, or at least have the illusion that they do. My recent relationship (that I am still in) has really evolved - in the midst of all the chaos, I wonder if there is a chance for peace. See in the beginning my love for him could move mountains, but he didn't feel the same at that time. He cheated on me, and it devastated me. However, I stuck by him. Little did I know that it planted a wicked seed, that would soon consume me before I knew it. I became the "detective" Before it became too bad, he fell in love with me. Now apparently I have made his life unlivable with my irrational thoughts and behaviors. Every time I'm locked out of something or he doesn't leave his phone out I become obsessed with it, and assume the worse. He has made a few mistakes a long the way, as well. However he has told me that he is trying.
How do I let go? Is it even possible?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[adflictus]

I had a similar experience. I don't know if it will help you but I will tell you what I went through. I met him when I was 15 and so young and in love. By the time I was 18 dropped out of boarding school for A levels to go live him and study to become a chef. I put him through hell because I couldn't be on my own I would totally freaked out and would rely on him to bring me down. I would have these massive moments of panic and fear to which I would just melt down. I love him so much it is untrue, but it was never enough for him or for me. When I was 20 he left me, he was seeing my best friend, well she was at the time (I don't ever talk to her anymore). I went through a self destructive phase that I sunk really low. I met this guy who had seen me at my worst and he fell in love with me, and I with him. Our relationship started our friendship. He gave me love and understanding that I over came my irrational fears by being hurt so badly. He helped me heal myself. Unfortunately we broke up but to this day he remains my best friend. So I would say yes, you can over come it with the right support and love.