Feeling depressed, no trigger.

[ThomasHill]

Greetings,

I've been diagnosed and been living with major depression for close to 6-years now. I've been institutionalized once, and have been through all the drugs you can think of from Ambien to Zoloft. My current treatment has been working really well, although I haven't left the house to attend a social gathering at night for over a year now (I'm 22).

Recently however, I have progressively started feeling depressed again. I haven't changed drugs, dosages, schedule etc. The only variable is the change of season. Could this be what is causing the onset, should I wait and hope it passes. One the one hand I don't want to wait until I am bed stricken with depression, but on the other I am a recent college graduate in my first year of professional work, and my budget/medical aid, just barely covers my drugs, and a visit to my Psych would really throw my budget off, leading to more stress etc.

Any suggestions, thoughts on my hypothesis would be really appreciated. Blessed Easter for everyone and their kin, hope you enjoy it.

Regards

[SilentSandal]

Hey Thomas,
Nice quotes on the bottom of the page, Winston Churchchill inspires me as well.

I just logged on for the first time in months and Im trying to deal now with a depression-state myself. I have similar challenges, anxiety, OCD, but worst of all, bipolar mood swings.

Anyways, what brought me to this post was the post subject. I just had similar problems myself in terms of my life, so that's why I logged on, to use the support system of this forum.

Just a bit about recent struggles: I basically went into a trigger-less depression that I thought was just exaustion, but it grew quickly worse over the course of a few days, sleeping too much, no desire for excersize, bad eating habits, that type of thing.

Its not all bad though, I have energy at times to do some schoolwork (not enough as i would like), and I talk to people throughout the day at my dorm, but the conversations are short sometimes, and don't address the dark details of my life.

Im a year older than you, and can relate to the "not attending social gatherings at night" because I don't drink and I don't like the atmosphere of most parties that have drinking, a lot of stuff gets sketchy at night and my GPA and morals are important to me. I just wish that there were more opportunities for me to meet non-drinking, morally conscious academics. But their probably doing homework or studying!!

Best of luck and welcome to the forum!

[ThomasHill]

Hi SilentSandal,

You don't know the good it does to hear I'm not alone. My hermit like state though has progressed to envelop day time as well. I work from home, jog in our neighborhood, and do weight training in my room. My fitness schedule is the only thing keeping me focussed at present, but as much as it empowers me it also holds me back.

Due to insomnia I wake early, so I train early to have the rest of the day to focus on work. I am inhibited by a diet that constrains me to 'living' in 3-hour blocks (the average time between having to have meal). I know this is unhealthy, but just like you I was able to justify it last year as focussing on my studies.

I must caution you, the longer you live in this limbo of solitude, the harder it becomes to get out of it. Just the though of going away for vacations, not having my prescribed meals on hand terrifies me. Although I don't suffer from bipolar disorder, I do come from a long line of family members who do, and self medicated using alcohol. I didn't inherit the disorder but did show traits comparable to habitual drinking. So I nipped that in the butt before it could progress.

I just feel stuck, I have a dream job, a good physique, caring friends and family etc. Or still from the outside I would appear to be one of the luckiest and happiest guys on Earth. Yet my diet constrains me, my depression and anxiety is always present (even when I'm doing super well, day-to-day anxieties get to me) and I just feel like there is no out, no silver lining etc.

I'm glad you enjoyed the quotes, Churchill was great. There's actually a tiny book available with all his most famous quips and quotes, I always flip through it when I see it, should actually just buy it because it's inexpensive. Thank you for entertaining my plight, the warm welcome and being so open in sharing yours with a complete stranger best of luck with dealing with your depression and your studies.

Regards

Thomas