Hi Everyone, I'm Megan, I am 22 right now and I have been struggling with depression for as long as I can remember. I come in and out of it every so often, and right now I can feel myself slipping into a dark depression.
I have been seeing a counsellor and I take anti-depressants, but it just feels like nothing is helping, and I feel so helpless. Usually I can do a pretty good job about hiding how I truly feel around my family or friends (which usually is tired, don't want to do anything, sad, or lonely).
I have been feeling very lonely lately mostly because I feel like no one understands what i'm going through.
I have a boyfriend but he doesn't understand it fully, and I have a lot of trouble when it comes to expressing how I feel. Mostly I feel bad for what feels like letting him down. Or I feel guilty for unravelling all of my emotions onto him, thinking that it's not fair for him to deal with all of it too. I know what my feelings are, I know how much I hurt inside, and how upset I am, and I just don't want him to feel the same way too.
Any advice or help would be wonderful.
Need Some Help
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Hi Megan,
Welcome to this site.
Firstly, I feel your pain, and I hope you eventually find a medication that will work for you. I know it's frustrating because I've been there. I'm on Abilify now, and it seems to be helping...
Secondly, I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with making your boyfriend aware of how deep your depression is. One of the most important elements in a relationship is communication. Another is honesty. If he knows the full extent of how you feel, he'll be less likely to be confused by any depressive behavior you might be exhibiting. I realize that you don't want to burden him, but I would at least come clean with him by having a lengthy conversation about all you're dealing with. You might find some semblance of peace and relief by doing so.
I wish you healing, and future happiness.
Take care.
Welcome to this site.
Firstly, I feel your pain, and I hope you eventually find a medication that will work for you. I know it's frustrating because I've been there. I'm on Abilify now, and it seems to be helping...
Secondly, I just want to say that there is nothing wrong with making your boyfriend aware of how deep your depression is. One of the most important elements in a relationship is communication. Another is honesty. If he knows the full extent of how you feel, he'll be less likely to be confused by any depressive behavior you might be exhibiting. I realize that you don't want to burden him, but I would at least come clean with him by having a lengthy conversation about all you're dealing with. You might find some semblance of peace and relief by doing so.
I wish you healing, and future happiness.
Take care.
Hello Megan,
You said that you are slipping into a dark depression right now, has there been any recent changes in your life which may have caused this? Are there things in your life that you are worried or stressed about? Make a list of the things that are bothering you, write them down onto paper and stick it up somewhere that you will see often and tackle them one by one (could be one a week, one per month or one per year depending on how big the issue is). Go at your own pace and whenever you feel ready. I don't believe in sweeping things under the carpet because at the back of our minds we know it is still there and will continue to bother us. So instead of avoiding them, look into them and understand what the problem is in order to find a solution.
I hear people say this a lot "nobody understands". Truth is they don't have to and I am glad that they don't because in order to understand they would have to be going through what i am going through and I would never wish that on them. I used to blame my family for not understanding but as I grew older I realised how selfish I was for being oblivious to the effects my own problems had on them. You are doing much better you are shielding your depression from your family, in some way to protect them I guess ^_^ Luckily depression isn't like some contagious disease, imagine infecting all the people you love and care about with it? Although it is not contagious it can have some negative effect on them so I guess that's why so many people isolate themselves when they are depressed. A bit like being in quarantine, but have people on the outside cheering you on, there may be nothing they can do but at least they care and are there to support you. There is no need to keep the door wide open letting your emotional landslide bury them, it is ok to talk through a small window when you feel like opening it to letting them know things are tough but you are fighting it. It is our own fight so we cant expect others to save us, we have to save ourselves and I often find that we don't always fully understand our own problems and yet we expect others to.
You may feel alone but really you have family, friends and your boyfriend waiting for you on the other side. Appreciate their love, their support and simply by being there. Some people have no one waiting for them on the other side....
I hope you find your way out, don't give up! x
You said that you are slipping into a dark depression right now, has there been any recent changes in your life which may have caused this? Are there things in your life that you are worried or stressed about? Make a list of the things that are bothering you, write them down onto paper and stick it up somewhere that you will see often and tackle them one by one (could be one a week, one per month or one per year depending on how big the issue is). Go at your own pace and whenever you feel ready. I don't believe in sweeping things under the carpet because at the back of our minds we know it is still there and will continue to bother us. So instead of avoiding them, look into them and understand what the problem is in order to find a solution.
I hear people say this a lot "nobody understands". Truth is they don't have to and I am glad that they don't because in order to understand they would have to be going through what i am going through and I would never wish that on them. I used to blame my family for not understanding but as I grew older I realised how selfish I was for being oblivious to the effects my own problems had on them. You are doing much better you are shielding your depression from your family, in some way to protect them I guess ^_^ Luckily depression isn't like some contagious disease, imagine infecting all the people you love and care about with it? Although it is not contagious it can have some negative effect on them so I guess that's why so many people isolate themselves when they are depressed. A bit like being in quarantine, but have people on the outside cheering you on, there may be nothing they can do but at least they care and are there to support you. There is no need to keep the door wide open letting your emotional landslide bury them, it is ok to talk through a small window when you feel like opening it to letting them know things are tough but you are fighting it. It is our own fight so we cant expect others to save us, we have to save ourselves and I often find that we don't always fully understand our own problems and yet we expect others to.
You may feel alone but really you have family, friends and your boyfriend waiting for you on the other side. Appreciate their love, their support and simply by being there. Some people have no one waiting for them on the other side....
I hope you find your way out, don't give up! x
Return to “New Member Introductions”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 152 guests