Still Alive and Kicking

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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92Firebird
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:13 pm

Still Alive and Kicking

Postby 92Firebird » Tue Feb 18, 2014 11:02 pm

So, im kind of new to this internet forum thing, or talking about my problems in general for many years it has been easier to suppress them and carry on with life. Well my main problem comes in with im too smart for my own good sometimes. Since i was little i was suppose to be the golden boy and graduate top of class and go to a nice college on a full ride. fast forward to senior year and i sit just months from graduation, with only a rough idea in mind, still near the top of my class but i took the easy way out and did minimal classes. I'm the worse kind of depressed person because all my problems are fixable and sometimes i just dont have the drive to fix them. I cant get through the day without caffeine and ciggarettes. i have become dependent, if i dont get caffeine i suffer from migraines, if i dont smoke i become irraitable. I dont know how i got to this point. as a child i swore never to drink or smoke, as both brothers were alcholics at a young age and I never wanted to become them, now i look in the mirror and fear i am becoming them each and every day. The only thing i have is no matter how low i feel, how upset i am, i never have and never will give up my desire to succeed. it is the fire burning inside of myself that will either make or break me. it has pushed me in the right direction on occasions but makes it so much harder to deal with failure. thanks for reading.

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