I will never be right!!!

[mtk]

I give up!!! I hate work, I stay down and depressed and the Prozac I've been taking doesn't seems to be working and I have been taking it for two months. I've tried several other antidepressants and they did no better. I have come to the conclusion that I will never be happy. Im 41 and have been dealing with this all my adult life. I even got to the point that I prayed for god to take me away from here just so I wouldn't make the others around me miserable. I just want to live happily and I just never seem to get there. I was off from work today and spent the whole day sitting around worrying about going back to work tommorow. Sorry for the rant but my wife is sick of me and I have no other people to talk to. I went to a counselor but I had to stop do to a lack of money. Once again sorry to rant about this but I just have to get it out.

[goodwillhunting]

everyone is tired of hearing how i feel and at work i have a person who everyone is either scared of or hates but she has been there a long time and today i was told that we all just have to suffer.
she is a rude bully and really is "crazy making" any time you deal with her,
so today i have to make a choice to continue there.
not good financially, socially and family, oh my what to do, keeps running in my mind.
so if its any help i hear you

[balcony]

Hi Mtk and goodwillhunting, you both seem to share the same frustration. I think anyone who has ever worked in an organization can understand.

I am sure suffering depression must make these work frustrations much more acute. I do know that all of us feel them, however. I find that it is very important to balance work with an outside life that offers something different. A re-charge of the battery each and every day is so important to handling work related stress. I know it is hard. Very hard to find those things which bring peace and mental relaxation but do not give up the search.

I hope sharing your frustrations here and not feeling alone with them will help. Take care and keep posting.

[mtk]

Thanks Balcony for the kindness. I was an avid bicyclist until I hurt my back three years ago. I just wish I could get back into it, as it was a passion that I am finding hard to get back into. I obsess over work and money all the time and just feel burned out. I am the sole source of income in our house, I worry about paying the bills all the time and therefore I feel so overwhelmed with worried that I just feel burned out,

[balcony]

Oh back pain is so awful, mtk..I can understand. I had to give up my sport for close to a year because of lower back pain and it was very frustrating. Are you able to receive physical therapy? I found therapy saved my back and taught me great exercises that I still use to keep my back strong.


Do you like Yoga or any other type of exercise that might be kinder to your back?

I hope things ease up a little for you at work and you feel less stress..sounds as if are doing your best and that is all anyone can ask. Hugs

[mtk]

I had therapy but having gained 30lbs. during my down time I think that extra weight doesnt help my back. If I could just let the stress go and get back into cycling I think I could improve mentally. It's just taking that first step which I can't seem to take.

[balcony]

Hi mtk, that first step is hard. When anyone returns to his sport they use the gauge of success as what they accomplished before the injury..I think that prevents many from going back. You might not be able to cycle like before, it might be harder, but, even if you rode a mile..or around the block it would get you started. Once you do it, you can't erase it!! You have started, and hopefully the next time it will be easier.

Ride for 15 minutes and see. Hugs Do all you back exercises you learned in physical therapy, every day.

[mtk]

Thanks Balcony! I am off from work this Saturday (wich is rare) and I am gonna try to go for a short ride and see how it go's from there. Thanks for the words of encouragement and for the advice.

[BrokenPen]

I feel for you, my fellow sufferer.

And it really is cases like ours why psychiatric help should be free so that way we all can get the help we need free from the worry of finance. Wouldn't you agree?

[Ste]

MTK and Goodwillhunting - I know how you guys feel. I am currently and have since I was 16 or so, suffering from anxiety and depression and I just wanna scream it at people at work and at home but I don't because I feel they will almost catch it, like a flu or something.
People who aren't familiar will take things the wrong way because it doesn't hit home to them, this isn;t their fault, they're just the lucky ones.
At the end of the day, there are many people around who feel unhappy, who feel worry, guilt, panic, sadness, loss of hope and if you speak to these people, in turn you will help one another. Its a huge healing process, opening up like a flower.
Never pray to God to take you away, because the life he gave you is the most beautiful gift of all, sometimes we've got to find it and grasp it with both hands.
Think of something you've always wanted to do, something you know will fill you with joy and make it come true.