Over it

[Rainbow_please]

Hi, I am 31.. Married with 3 kids.

I have struggled with GAD since I started fertility treatment 3yrs ago. I had PND/PPD with my middle daughter that went undignosed for 2.5yrs.

Last year I was very sick with GAD and spent many months not doing much other then laying in bed and very basic things every day, I could not go out or go to shops at all.

I have had several rounds of fertility treatment this year all while taking lexapro to combat then anxiety attacks I get with the medications and I was fine, then I came off the lexapro and had another round and well BIG mistake.
I have the actual anxiety attacks under control but now I think I have a nasty case of depression..l think,

I am constantly thinking of death, my death, struggling with the whole life thing, I know this is anxiety, but it's the over whelming sadness that rushes over me at times, I just feel so incredibly sad and then usually will trigger anxiety and feeling something bad is about to happen to me...
I have been on lexapro which works really well but caused weight gain which doesn't help feeling like poo. I have taken lovan (which I think caused anxiety attacks) and calapham(sp?) which I only took for a short period of time but because I was at my worst and knew lexapro worked from previous experience I switched to lexapro.
The thing is I feel so much better happier more energy better sleeping with the lovan and calapham, where as the lexapro kinda just takes away the anxiety and sadness. any suggestions?

I really struggle to open up to my husband and I wish I could I'd prob feel so much better...

So sick of this wtf can I do to feel better?

[balcony]

Hi Rainbow_Please, sounds very difficult. I can relate to the infertility and also the 3 kids. I had lots of difficulty getting pregnant after an ectopic pregnancy that endangered my life. I am happy to read that you have 3 children, congratulations. I am sorry you are suffering with other problems. It is hard to parent and not feel well. I would encourage you to reach out as much as possible for support. Therapy/counseling might help with the anxiety. Sometimes a simple Mom's Group can help also. It can be comforting to be in a room with people who are experiencing the same things with kids day in and day out . Keep posting and a hug.