It's only getting worse (triggering)

[Ryan]

This is very hard for me to even say but everyone says this process is healthy and a weight is lifted off your shoulders. I don't believe that I still feel like I'm torn up and so defenseless. It only gets worse as I tell but I'm hoping getting this out will help me feel less of this feeling.

This is the worse thing that's ever happened to be but I truly deserved it
I was sexually abused by my teacher. She would do hold me in recess and touch me, and I still have a hard time talking about it. Forgive me for this post I usually write more detail but I can't even describe it.

I feel like this is one of the big reasons why I'm like I am today and why everyone sees me as a monster. I guess they are right I truly a monster I don't wish to be but I am so this is how it is.

Thanks for reading

[St8arrow]

Hello Ryan

I suppose one of your problems will be getting people to believe your story. Most young men who were "touched" by a female teacher, would think that they had just won the lottery or something. Assuming that you are telling the truth, you are not a monster. You are telling yourself this and you have to stop.

Your teacher is much older than you and assuming that you are a minor, she could be charged with rape and sent to jail. Even if you can do nothing, or choose to do nothing, stop calling yourself a monster. Perhaps you made a mistake by not speaking up and stopping the behavior but at your age, (are you less than 16?) it is the perpetrator of the abuse that should be labelled a monster not you.

Simply by changing the language with which you --- "talk to yourself", --- will help you deal more effectively with your problems. If you feel comfortable enough talking about these incidents, come in here and give us more detail about this situation so that we can offer more pertinent help for you.