Struggling

[driedrose]

Hi all. I've done message boards before, but nothing ever of this type. I don't know if this is the right place for this, but here goes.

I don't know how many people here feel like they're alone in this world but that's how I feel right now. It's like, I've been in a downward spiral and I know I can't always do things myself even though I pretend I can. I moved out on my own about two years ago and I'm just not making it. My dad tries to encourage me by saying "Just get a new job" which, in this economy, is easier said than done.

I think part of the issue is I've been lucky enough to have responsible parents who were able to frugally give me everything (by frugally I mean we aren't rich, just, smart with what we had), and I guess at the same time I never really learned how to take care of the more important things in life. Even though I feel like I have a lot to offer, it feels as though people continuously put me in a box and can't see that I'm a different person now than ten years ago.

I'm not perfect, but sometimes I get so depressed I just stay in bed for days. No offense to anyone here, but, for me, meds aren't the answer. They said it's hard for adults to make friends as they get older, and that's true in my case. People who I thought were my friends haven't contacted me in months, even though I try to drum up a conversation. Maybe I'm trying too hard?

It's not like I smoke, drink, do drugs, sleep around...but I have been wondering as of late if I really do have anything left worth living for because I've no confidence, no ambition, a dead-end job, a few big mistakes that I'm in over my head, and even though I know my parents love me I'm still afraid to tell my dad things because I only seem to disappoint. I've never been the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the most responsible person...it's like I'm not really a person at all.

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this, all I know is that I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be using this whole box of tissues by the end of the day...I'm sure my problems may not be as significant as someone else's , but I needed to vent, and maybe venting to people who don't really know me yet...gah...no more words are forming at the moment...but I have had semi-suicidal thoughts as of late; any advice would be great...Thanks for reading...

[dd-va]

Welcome to the forums driedrose! Glad to have you here! No need to worry about the significance of your problems here. If it is a problem to you, then it is big enough to worry about. Here you will be able to speak how you feel, and not worry about others judging these feelings. Instead, here you will find people that are able to identify with the feelings you have. We also have a chat room here, and it is a great source for support as well. Take Care and Keep Posting!

[balcony]

driedrose, Hi, thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings, a hard thing to do many times. The transition into the work world and being on your own is very hard. There are so many new experiences to face and decisions to make. I will say that most first or second or even third jobs, don't fall into the great category. Getting started on a career path is really hard and it takes commitment, hard work and luck. Many times what we start out doing is not what we will do. The key is to be open and aware to the possibilities that exist. You write and speak well and seem to have an understanding of yourself. Those are marvelous and valuable characteristics . Yes, forming adult friendships is hard. Part of the reason is that adults are so busy managing their own problems that it leaves little time for relationships. Take the time to do things that you enjoy doing, develop any and all interests that you have and you willl find people to share that with. You do not have to be "perfect" in anything, no one is, people are not loved or liked any less because they are not perfect.

I hope you find some answers for yourself and remember that your pain and struggle is as important as anyone else.

Best of luck to you, and take care

[crystalgaze]

Driedrose.... Are you my sister?!

What you said sounds similar to what I'm going through right now myself. (Even the lifestyle growing up sounds similar.)

That job thing is a bummer. I've looked & looked, went to college & the only thing employers where I live want to pay is minimum wage.... I guess something is better than nothing, but I just wanted to find something that would be worth the stress (considering I've been ill on & off for many years now).

I could say don't despair, but I know when you've got pressure, bills to pay, & the frustrations of a job staring you in the face, it's a lot to handle.

All I can say is hang on & hang in there. That's been one of the things at work for me in all my struggles.

Take care!