not sure of anything

[rakeboy1963]

i am here for any in put good or bad my world just disapeard my wife has moved out need time ti fig things out,,i have to the dr and am manic dep,,bipolar,adhd,mania is new for me i am back on meds but only this week because i told my self i could handle it.Wrong she was leaving the folowing week but left in 2 days and woke in the middle of the night crying for 3 hrs i couldn`t stop..all i wanted to end this (content removed) but on my way out the door i seen my sons picturs and cryed on them for an hour and drove my self to the hospital and called my ex wife to meet me there i had no one else and she still hates me for the most part, my wifes phone was dead i still cry most of the last 2 days.. I have been with my wife for 24 years she is tired of my lack of caring,being blown off you know the rest.She told me my son never stays around because i obsess over him..He is off to collage so i am alone with all this and no one to talk to when i do see her she comes with her sister or comes to the house to get thingsi dont know why..And no i am not a hitter ever i am against that behaver...she says hi can i use this like were roomates we text and talk a bit during the day but its short and not about us ..she said in a letter that she had no hop,vision of the futur and no expectations of me and she knows i have been off my meds. any insite would be nice

[jj]

hey rakeboy, welcome to the forums.

im really sorry to hear about the breakup with your wife that must be soso hard. my heart goes out to you. all i can say really is that ending your life will not solve anything, only transfer your pain that you have, onto the people you leave behind. the best thing i can say is that this will get better with time. 24 years is such a long time, so it must be a real shock to your system for her not to be there anymore.

maybe giving your son a little space might make him want to spend more time with you. or maybe his time at college and the time/distance apart will make him want to spend some more time with you when he comes home to visit.

would your wife consider coming back to you she knew you were back on meds and were stable again?

hugs to you

jj

[rakeboy1963]

Well i know that know and my son and i are talking about things and he wants me to be well.He has a better idea what is going on now ,i think my depession unchecked all this time ,is what made my wife have depression on her own level, she does have her happy pills to and drinks heavy on top, not helping us at all...my crutch is work so i focus on that! just seem to not do well at home...But this site really helps and talked to really nice people..I think i need to chat with both woman and men who deal with there own depression and with spouses who deal with someone elses

[jj]

hey rakeboy,

thats great that you have something in your life to keep on going.. i think youre right to focus on work. glad you found the site helps, was nice to see you in the chatroom too they are really nice people eh

also you may notice in your first post it says '(content removed)' , thats because it contained detail into suicide, which we dont allow, can be very triggering to readers.

hope to see you again in the chatroom soon

stay positive, we'll all help each other out of this black hole!

jj