15 and depressed. (triggering)

[robyn]

hi, i'm new to this so i thought i would just write what's happened to me. i'm 15 and have suffered with depression which no one else knows about for the past 4 or so years.

3 years ago on 1st december i attempted suicide by taking 45 paracetamol pills, but the side effects scared me so much i told my parents that i had accidentally taken too many pills and was rushed too hospital. I lied to every counsellor i spoke to telling them i hadn't tried to kill myself but it wasn't true. I had wanted to die, but i was 12 and i was scared when i began throwing up. me and my parents have never spoken about it since.

Well 3 years have passed in which i have had insomnia, have cut myself, and have attempted to make myself throw up; all of which are not happening at this present moment in time.

I have no real excuse for the depression, i have a lovely family and friends, i just feel so alone and don't know who to talk to so i thought i would try this forum because there are people here who might know how i feel, and might not think i am just saying this for attention if i did tell them.

[jj]

Hey robyn, welcome to the forums, glad to have you here.

Sorry to hear all that you went through. But if its any help, you're right, and youre not alone. There doesnt need to be a reason that you can see, to have depression. You dont have to have gone through some traumatic event, it can happen to anyone, at any time. So try not to feel guilty or anything like that.

Councellors can be very effective, but you really need to be honest with them. Would you consider going to see one again?

Why do you think your parents and people would think youre saying these things for attention? You could maybe go to your doctor about it, but because youre under 16 they may have to tell your parents.

Why dont you try opening up to your friends? Even when we think oh no no i cant tell them this and that, friends can really surprise you and be so supportive. They wouldnt want you to be suffering like this, as you say theyre lovely, im sure theyd want to help. I know its hard and a big step to open up to the people closest to you in your life, but it is such a weight off your shoulders when you do. Or maybe you could talk to a teacher at school or someone? a school counsellor/nurse?

Big hugs to you!!

jj

[FindingWings]

Hi, I'm new here and your post is one of the first ones I've read. It's hard to see that someone so young is suffering from depression but I am quickly finding out that being young with depression is often the case for many. I just realized I also suffer from depression and even worse realized that I have been depressed since a very young age but thought it was normal. So I have to tell you that you are not alone. I know everyone says that but your not. There are many people that feel like this and it's not their fault or something that you bring on yourself it somehow just happens. What you said about you having good parents and maybe reasons to be happy but just aren't is very similar to what I feel and it's good to know that someone else understands what that's like. I do think you should talk to your parents and the main reason is because your young and you should focus on getting help and finding how to get out of this black hole as early as possible. I wish I had known when I was young what this feeling was and that I could have gotten help for it since then. Instead it came to bite me in the butt from time to time until I finally realized hey, I'm depressed. I'm 23 btw. I also understand what you mean when they may think your doing it to get attention. Growing up thats what was always heard when someone tried to hurt themselves is that they are just doing it for attention. It's really not that simple and shouldn't be judged. I hope you find help here in the forums, in the chatrooms, and with family and friends. Someone needs to know how you feel and it helps to have someone in your corner. So consider myself here to help and if you ever need to talk let me know.

[jj]

I agree with what FindingWings has said, and i hope you find help in the forums and with family and friends, but to enter the chatroom though you have to be 16 and above.

jj

[pavukino]

hi
there is nothing to be ashamed of. i myself first experienced depression when i was 13 (now im 28) and i know how confusing it can be when you have lovely family and friends. maybe you could try to speak to some counselor in your area about that? they are professionals and meet people with depression every day. just to give you some hope. i suffered from depression from my 13 to 18 but it is curable and you can overcome it even though sometimes it seems impossible. since i was 18 i have lived content life without depression with all its ups and downs. and even though after 10 years im depressed again, i know there is a hope.