Why do we ask for help?

[Ahorse]

Hi all,

These forums are designed to allow us to communicate with people like ourselves, fellow sufferers who know what it feels like.

It's great to know you are not alone and excellent just to say "Hi" etc as you feel like someone knows you are alive.

Usually though people come on sites like this in desperation. They ask for help and tell some of their story. Usually just a bit so those who respond must either guess or ask for more detail. Some resent that and that's fine, their problem.

But so many ask for help, get support and advice from others and then reject it and argue against it.

It's hard to remember clearly now but I'm certain I was very much like that myself, reject what someone else says just because. I know why I did it, that was part of my problem. Unable to accept any advice from anyone.

These days though I wonder why most of us do that. So many who get advice from others and just ignore it and say nothing or start fighting about it as if they are insulted.

I don't get it. What is it about humans that make us do that? Is it ego? Just too proud to accept we don't know it all? Why do people want to argue against something they don't fully understand?

It baffles and frustrates me. Doesn't stop me posting as now and again someone does get a benefit and that's the whole idea really.

If you have a clue, please say. Use yourself as an example as you should know if and why you may have done it. Like I said I'm certain I did, many years ago now.

[Kiku]

I've been on the chatroom a lot, talked to many people... Everyone I talked to appreciated the advice I gave.

I myself fight help sometimes, but of good reasons... even though people are depressed and such they are still allowed to decided themselves what to do, what advice to take etc. Sometimes an advice doesn't feel right, even wrong, thats up to the person who receives them.

If a person rejects an advice does not necessarily mean they won't accept other advices.

Well anyways... thats my thoughts about this.

[Ahorse]

Hey Kiku,

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, I'm sure that's what I used to be like except I think I just rejected everything, even the idea I had some problem. I rejected it so much I believed it but someone should have been able to find a way to help me see.

Guess I'm dreaming that we can accept from others what we haven't yet tried and either failed or succeeded with. I don't believe much at all unless I have done it, felt it, seen it, heard it or been taught it by someone qualified to do so.

SO I fully accept what you say.I'm just wondering why we, humans, are like that. Of course everyone must decide for themselves.

It just seems really odd that they ask in desperation and then ignore or reject things they haven't tried or done. Do you know what I mean? It's not unique to this forum just in case anyone thought that. It's the same everywhere.

Is it just for sake of being contrary, I think that was me back then, or is there something else. Do they write their plea and then maybe feel embarrassed when they get responses and so just deny whatever is suggested? I guess there's not really an answer as no one can tell any of us what the answer is, only make suggestions based on what helped us.