Alone - Triggering material

[Silent_One]

I feel so alone in all of this. Like I am fighting a huge battle in my mind constantly with nobody around who can understand or comfort or support me in anyway. I wake up every morning not wanting to get up and get on with the day..wishing that i could just will myself into unexistance or make my heart stop without a thought...i dont want to live in this world...i never find anything good...whenever i start to see the good in something it always turns out theres an unexpected twist to it...i have no will to live...the only reason i do is because i know others would blame me if i didn't stay...im tired of feeling so lonely when there are always people around me...tired of waking up to another disapointing day...i took a gun to my head and pulled the trigger three months ago...and i had checked if there were bullets in it...but im still here and i dont get why...im still querstioning what i did wrong..i cocked it and then pulled the trigger...everyday i regret that it didn't work...i dont know what to do anymore...what to say...how to even function or go on...and nothing really helps anymore...not even a doctor...what do i do?

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Silent_One,

We don't have answers here, we just give support, the best we can give. We do understand depression for we live it ourselves.

There is a chat room connected with this forum, perhaps try going into it, chat with people, get the added support of that site as well.

Have you seen a doctor, are you on medications? Just wondering. Do what you can and know there are chatters here that care, although we don't know you personally, we do care.

Warmsoul/Moderator

[crystalgaze]

Hello S1! Please take care! I attempted as well & lived. It feels rather odd at 1st, but you can move past that moment.

Hang in there!

[Obayan]

I attempted as well. Let me share with you what keeps me going on the worst of days....

1. Nothing in this world, all throughout history has ever happened just once. So good times will happen again.

2. Everything always changes. In small ways sometimes, and in big ways others. Sometimes, the changes are so small we tend to miss them. But keeping a journal and writing in it helps to look back and see the changes that have happened and the ups and downs we go thru. This can be for some essential in recovering.

I hope this helps you.