.
talked to (of all people) a nurse practitioner about how I was feeling, how'd I'd been feeling for.. well, for all of my adult life.
she listened, looked at me and said "that sucks. how about trying some meds?" I shrugged my shoulders and thought "why not?". the kicker is, that I've done meds before. but part of the problem is that I'm not consistent, I feel better and then stop taking them abruptly, or don't feel the desired effects and quit after a couple of weeks.
she sighed and said that she would call me daily if need be to *remind* me...wow. and you know what, she did call after a week or so, and she called to remind me to come in for my one month check in, and she called me at my two month and 3 month as well. I finally told her it was okay, I was being consistent and this was now a daily habit that I could continue.
the thing of it was, it took that long for the meds to get into my brain, to sink in so to say. now I know that when I feel okay, I still have to take meds, cause it's the meds making me okay. clear as mud? yeah, me too lolol!
one friggin little pill.
it hasn't solved world peace or whether the chicken or the egg came first, but it makes me able to think about it, not obsess about it and stay in that gray area instead of above the white or below the black. there are still bad days, but I can handle them. cause they're life things, normal life things that now I can handle, or at least let them roll off my shoulder.
thank you all for your stories, advice and willingness to share.
