Conflicted

[Eric0620]

I'm constantly being pulled in two directions simultaneously. I am not going to kill myself, but I always seem to have death on my mind. Part of me wants to drop dead, but then I think about my loved ones --- my beautiful wife, and two beautiful sons who are ages 9 and 5, and how it would impact them living without me. I can't and won't do that to them, but these feelings are like a car in drive with the brakes applied at the same time, and the conflict is like the smoke from the spinning, screeching tires.

I try giving some hints to my friends so I can open up with them about how I am hurting, but they just aren't noticing it and I feel that it's so obvious that I'm "screaming" for a need to talk just to get it off my chest. I will not beg for their attention, but all I want is to release some steam from my "emotional pressure valve".

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((( Eric )))))))))))))))))

Hopefully typing here provides you some 'venting'. We listen and understand those feelings you are dealing with.

Warmie