The day was great! So why does it always end this badly?

[RenaMoon]

I was put in charge over a whole department today because all three of the managers over me did not come in to work. The other employees weren't too happy about it but they did help finish the notes. The ladies made me feel... like I wanted to cry at times. Literally, they didn't want me in that position and expressed it very verbally. However, I was on a roll, I worked hard, did tons of work, and got recognized for it. At the end of the day I had other managers and even the substitute store manager praising me, saying that I did a good job today. I was so happy I felt like dancing and jumping up and down. It all got worked out.

I ended up wanting to share this good moment with a friend, who I am crushing on. So I text him to see if I could come over and celebrate a good day. He sent back "Not tonight." I know this may seem really stupid but it was like that switch inside me had been flipped and I was once again buried in darkness. I can't share this kind of a day with my family because they don't care about me, what I do, or anything. They just want me to help pay the bills each month. He was the only one close I could finish out the day on a relaxing note but his no snatched that hope away.

Now my good day seems obsolete. I just want to crawl under my blankets and stay put. Sleep... never come out. That's how it feels. Everything to me or coming from me is..."I don't..." I don't even want to go eat dinner that I am being called for right now. No appetite. I want to hold on to the good like what I went through today. I want it to be so strong it outweighs the bad. I guess that is why I bury myself in work, wanting to be there rather than left alone in the environment I can't seem to escape at home. I went to the CMN meeting and I got looks from everyone there like I was the strangest thing they ever say when all I asked was for something to do. I wanted to help. That hurt but when I got into my normal work I was fine.

Blah I feel like I'm trying to explain too much. I never talk this much. And I'm not a consistent writer. So therefore I shall disappear. I'm sorry. Bye.

[BeautifulDisatr]

(((RenaMoon))))

Don't be sorry, I am soo happy you shared this great moment with us. I completly understand how you feel because I am guilty of diving into my work to escape the reality of the rest of my life.

Congratulations and job well done. You worked hard and should be very proud of yourself.

Keep sharing, I care and am glad you posted your thoughts.

Enjoy the rest of your day

[RenaMoon]

Thank you BeautifulDisatr.