THE NIGHTPORTER IS HERE ! (MORBID) TRIGGER

[xn728]

As is the norm for me ,my eyes slowly open around 2.30 am ,my mind subconciously knowing the next awful day had arrived ,as i lay in bed i saw him ,

he didnt need an introduction ,weve met before ,three times to be exact ,three failed suicide attemps ,So young i was at that time but he had come to me,

ready to carry my baggage as i made my new and final journey ,,but three times he had to return to that unknown world empty handed ,his latest prize taken

from his hands at the last minute ,for me i would return to the world i feared and hated so much ,made to carry my burden for so many more years ,and he would return to his world ,empty handed ,but no pain or fear for him ,for he knows my fate ,and he will come for that baggage again ,and he will carry it well ,my baggage ,my burden ,carried for me when the time comes once more ,the last trip ,,yes final ,cold and dark no returning ,no hugs goodbye no tears

or waves ,just a silent passing here one second gone the next ,no time to think or pass comment just a step into the unknown ,never able to return to tell

others or loved ones how it is, heaven or hell ,or just nothing ,the light going out in my eyes ,the last breath slowly leaving my lungs and my poor tormented

body ,slowly and gently settles into an uninterupted rest ,the electrical impulses in my brain ,the very power that drove me in life ,slowly fades ,and just for a fleeting moment ,my mind is at peace ,tortured for 44 years ,a tiny millisecond without pain ,and now i sleep eyes wide open but seeing nothing ,just an empty shell ,lost on the beach of life soon to be washed away by the sea of torment that has touched so many of our lives ,

The visitor had left me weeks ago ,and i did find this unerving ,and i felt happiness for a short while ,but i knew this new entity would come ,but not so

soon,surely not so soon ,he comes with no malice ,just to carry my baggage ,,my burden ,my pain ,Yes The Nightporter has come for me ,It is time ,he doesnt speak we dont need words ,its just written ,,planted at birth ,you know when he comes ,no cheating this time ,no nurses ,no doctors or parents ,,oh what have you done ,you dont want to hurt yourself ,you have everything to live for ,,no there will be no stomach pumps this time ,He will have his prize and i will have my millisecond pain free ,,,,my baggage is packed life has worn me down ,im tired ,i dont remember things anymore ,i tremor my poor hands shake ,and my complextion is grey and lifeless to wake each morning is to scream that silent scream ,so loud in my head ,but never to be heard on the outside ,that strange world were i have never been welcome ,pushed so far against that wall ,but now he smiles as he gently and without words picks up my baggage ,my burden ,he turns and looks at me ,and i know its time ,no fear here ,not from him ,a kind and gentle face he turns and pauses ,gives me time to for a breif last thought ,and now he walks on ,he wont look behind he knows i must follow ,and when we reach the emptiness were no boundries are visible ,he will assure and guide me so i have no fear as we pass together into ? I dont know, the force within me will cease and whatever follows for me will not be seen by my eyes anymore ,no returning ,just a long silence ,and in the pages here ,Just echoes of what used to be ,A life torn apart by something so powerful ,more destructive than any weapon man could dream of inventing , Ended quietly passed without notice ,Ill turn out the light as i leave , NIGHTPORTER COMES ,NIGHTPORTER TAKES ,NIGHTPORTER SLIPS AWAY . Im not Frightened anymore ,,love Ken xxx

[crystalgaze]

I feel similarly today.

[Caitlinslost]

Every word of that I understood. I feel everything you wrote.