HEY WARMIE GIRL /IT WAS A PANIC ATTACK

[xn728]

hey warmie ,it was a panic attack ,i should have known ,pain in chest ,trouble breathing
closed in feeling ,etc just like fran has ,ive been listening to fran and shelley
talking about money and stuff ,and saying she might have to sell this and that ,and cut back on this
blah,blah i kept hearing shelley getting upset ,and its just built up inside ,i was backed up to the
wall with knowere to go ,but bang .i was in and out of the forum all day ,sometimes when i see someone is logged
in it makes feel less alone ,i saw lisa was on but then she went ,i felt like shouting her name ,sounds
silly i know ,then when i saw you had posted a few minutes before i last looked ,it was a foothold for me ,
i was feeling angry and confused ,i did not know what was happening ,id lost my happy everything was looking
bad again ,i had felt so good ,but im ok i realise it was a panic attack ,the 2 diazepam i took stopped it
and i was able to think ,feel a bit high now though ,i have my happy back ,i hadnt lost it ,i just became
blind with the panic and couldent see it ,ill see the doc monday and tell him about the panic ,it was just
the last 2 days getting on top of me ,im ok ,you could not have timed that reply any better thanks girl,,,KEN hey lisa glad to see you hear

[lisalou]

hi ken, glad to hear your panic attack has calmed down a little, they are really awful aren't they, feel like being squeezed through the gates of hell. it's not surprising with all the stress youve had the last few days. and don't feel silly for being relieved when you see others are logged in, i do it all the time,when i am having a bad day i check the forums constantly to check for new posts and to see who's here,it's comforting. you don't have to shout my name, i am always thinking of you and my other friends here, this morning i played 'submission' by the sex pistols and 'true confessions' by the undertones and thought of you,great songs,gave me a temporary yapph!!!

[xn728]

its good to hear you play that stuff lisa ,i have all the punk stuff ,all on cd and mp3 , i still dress a little young these days ,straight leg jeans ,some rock t,shirt on ,my great tatoos down my arms ,i feel like the dogs balls
but you know i did do it and wear the t,shirt .its shows who i am ,,,,,,
nice to know you like the music ,thanks lisa ,i nearly did a runner today ,my way of self harming i suppose ,i made a promise though so i wont be naughty again ,,,,,,,,,,favourate undertones track
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,has to be teenage kicks , favourate pistols track ,,,,bodies
,,,,,,,,,,,,,favorite track just now ,,the last fight ,velvet revolver ,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,thanks lisa ,,,,,,,,my dear freind ,,,,,,ken

[lisalou]

good for you ken, wear what you like and be proud, mark customises a lot of his clothes, he has made a sex pistols jacket and an x ray spex t shirt, i don't know where i'd be without music

[xn728]

hey lisa that was me in 77, i had a white suit i bought from oxfam
i made a little stencil of a prison arrow ,and covered the whole suit in these arrows ,it looked so cool ,i had to walk home thrugh doncaster on market day it was packed ,the world did not know what had hit it .
i was a roadie at the outlook club the main punk venue in s,yorkshire
i had henna red hair in bowies ziggy style ,i met fran in a pub called
the snake pit ,we hung with the hells angels in there ,it was us or the teds
and we did like leather ,i met fran there ,its funny i was beginning to
disintigrate at that time ,she was sent from somewere ,,,,,,,oh there go the boring old man ,,good for mark i wish i could send him some stuff
i think he,d enjoy it ,i bet ive got music he,s never heard ,,,,,,thanks lisa cheered me up talking about the old days lol ,,,,,,,,,ken
ps the undertones did a cover of under the boardwalk by the drifters

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((( Ken ))))))))))))))))))

Grateful that my post did help. I do worry, friends do that. You know I will do all I can to give support, never forget that.

My provider with the internet was down a lot today, so I haven't been in much. Sorry.

((((((((((((((((((((((( Ken )))))))))))))))))))))))

Extra hug to help you through the night, and oh yes,

(((((((((((((((( Fran and Shelley )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Take care please.

Warmie

[xn728]

THANKS WARMIE GIRL ,YES YOU WERE RIGHT ON CUE THERE ,THE DAMN TABLETS ARE KEEPING ME AWAKE NOW ,FELT GOOD THOUGH,
I KNOW YOUR THERE ,ITS JUST SEEMED QUEIT ON HERE TODAY ,
I KNOW WEVE ALL GOT THINGS TO DO ,THANKS AGAIN WARMIE
YOU SLEEP WELL AS WE,LL I CATCH YOU TOMMOROW ,I LISTEN TO SOME LOVELY SOOTHING SOUNDS NOW MMMMM ROCK OR PUNK
TILL TOMMORROW ,,,,,,,,,GIRL AND DEAR FREIND ,,,,,,,,,,KEN

[crystalgaze]

So glad you will go to the doctor. It's worth a visit. Take care, alright? & let us know how it goes!

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( Ken ))))))))))))))

Thank you for being here, for all of us. A true friend, indeed.

Warmie

[xn728]

hey girl glad to see you today ,i hope you feel ok ,how did last night go
the food thing ,hope you all enjoyed ,whatever it was ,not being nosey
just hope you enjoyed ,strange day for me ,visitor showed me a terribe thing ,i watched a progam on tv last night ,that upset me to it was about
mental illness and sycohcis ithink thats the name ,making me think now
my visions as i call them are becoming more graphic and they are very real ,sometimes i darnt say to much to the doc ,you know with my mam being sectioned ,i think the differance is with my visions is at least i know thats just what they are ,,,,,anyway i dont want to darken things
nice things say to me warmie ,,thanks ken ,,,,,,,later girl

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((( Ken )))))))))))))))))

Last night was very nice. Sharing a meal ( cook out ) with friends and then past candy out to the trick or treaters. We had over 14 pounds of individual wrapped candies ( a stone in your weight?) and actually ran out. Others seemed to enjoy the foods I prepared and the wine/beer/hot apple cider and soft drinks. Of course, Halloween cookies, brownies and ice cream.

((((((((((( Ken )))))))))) you aren't being nosy, friends are that way.

Now back to finishing up the day after.

Take care of yourself please.

Warmie

[xn728]

GLAD YOU HAD A GREAT TIME ,NICE TO HEAR ABOUT IT
GOODNIGHT DEAR WARMIE GIRL,,,,,,,,,,,,KEN

[crystalgaze]

I nearly had one yesterday. I was able to talk myself through it & down from it....

I was standing in line in the bank. I was fine, until I got to be next person to get to a teller.

There were a lot of people, all of us scrunched up together. There was no air blowing in there.

My chest tightened & then I started to feel like I couldn't breathe. I probably would have had shakes, but I just put my left wrist to my face. Lifting my arm seemed to help & then, I talked myself through it in my head.

I think I always get extra anxious about being in a bank because I think, "What if people come to rob it?"

Also, there is only 1 usable entrance + exit to the building for customers... I don't like that.... There's even a decent beach (the lagoon) that was beautified by this lady, but I stay away from there because there's only 1 entrance + 1 exit. Anybody wants to do you any thing & you'd have to swim for it--& I don't swim well. (Shoot, I haven't swum in ages, so I almost don't remember how.)

Back to the bank, it is small, so having 10 to 15 (or more people) in there makes an already small bank almost totally unmaneuverable or unnavigable. (Claustrophobic, in a word...)

It doesn't help that people stand right up under you in the line either. Man, I was so glad to get out of there! I pretty much felt better when I was able to go outside & get some air. I threw on some music & came home....

I think I will try to work more quickly at cleaning, so I can start exercising. I have an DVD of breathing exercises that should help.... I still feel a little strange today, but... hhmm.... it could be from how I exerted myself, cleaning the windows Sunday. It was a lot...

Edit: I have also had bad anger in the last few days, so I am working with that, as best as I can. It almost borders on rage or is instant extreme anger. It feels the same as what I felt years ago b4 attempting S....

I don't think I will attempt again... It's just an odd feeling.

[xn728]

im more than a little concerned about you onika ,,things just lately with you have been a little worrying ,,please take are of yourself ,,slow down a little and take it easy ,,this is whats wrong with me onika ,,im gonna kill myself if i dont stop getting eate up and rushing around ,,,ive got a bad chest again now ,,,and im sure sometimes im gonna ,,just hit the deck ,,
please be very aware ,,go to the doctor even if it ends up being nothing ,just be safe rather than sorry ,,,lots of love ken xxxhugs

[Mich]

Please be safe. You are loved and cared for.