Hi everyone,
I feel like it has been way too long since I have been to the forum.
My daughter is getting married next weekend (Thanksgiving Day weekend in Canada) and it has been just crazy getting things done.
I have also had to deal with deep depression and anxiety. On top of it all my mom (whom I am full-time caregiver for ) feel a couple of weeks ago. She feel on the Thursday but didn't tell us until Friday afternoon, when she couldn't walk.
Took her to the doctor (which was amazing due to her religious beliefs) and he determined that she didn't have any broken bones.
Our immediate problem was that she couldn't walk. We did find a walker right away, but it was too big for her.
She suffers from dementia so her trying to learn how to operate the walker, and to know later that she will always have to use a walker from now on, was a challenge for all of us.
Also with my daughters wedding I have gone to 3 showers for her. They were all difficult but the last one (that I had to attend) was one Saturday night. Kind of felt sorry for my daughter because she had another one, 3 1/2 hours away from the one Saturday night, on Sunday afternoon.
Unfortunately it turned out that no one was able to drive with her. I suppose that she is young.
I am going to see my pdoc on Wednesday. We made this appointment a month ago, when he could see that I was not doing well. I know that I am at the point of falling apart but I know how important the day is for my daughter. My plan is to keep it all together until after the gift-opening Sunday afternoon.
I am hoping that I will be able to see my pdoc soon after that. I live in Canada where there is a chronic health care system problem of there not being enough professionals to take care of the population.
I usually have to wait 3-4 months between 30 minute appointments.
The jury is still out on whether I will be able to get long-term counselling. Am keeping my fingers crossed.
Didn't intend on this going on for so long. Just wanted you to know why I haven't been here. Looking back on it, things might have gone better if I had made sure I spent, at least, a little time here each day.
Can see that I have lots of posts to catch up on. Glad to see that the forum is being active.
Take care everyone and looking forward to getting to know those that have just started posting to the forum.
Wedding Showers and such
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
great to hear from you
hey monty ,so glad to hear your ok ,keep going on ,im not gonna bore you about how strong you must be ,youve heard it all before from me
but your doing great ,i know how hard these things are ,i have to grown up girls to you know .you will be perfect ,xn728,,KEN
but your doing great ,i know how hard these things are ,i have to grown up girls to you know .you will be perfect ,xn728,,KEN
Hi Monty - I am concerned that you have to wait so long in between pdoc appts. I have been seeing mine on a weekly basis for 4.5 years now. Do you live in a remote area? It sounds like you need some extra support right now so I really hope you can book a series of appts with him/her. Wedding times are always very hectic and I give you a lot of credit for getting through it as well as you are. Please update when you can. You are cared for.
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
Glad you posted. Just to let you all know.
I did it. The weekend went wonderful. Couldn't have been nicer.
It was a long weekend here. Thanksgiving. We went down to my daughter's, and new son-in-laws, about 2 1/2 hours from where I am.
It was really special. You all know of what my perceived lack of mothering abilities.
I thought that I was just going to get my hair done Saturday morning and then head back off to the hotel, having to head to the church on my own.
It was so great because my daughter asked me to join her for the day.
I got to ride around in the limo with them, also spent lunch, and was there when she put on her dress.
Also there for the limo ride to the church, when she shed a few tears.
Not like the tears my son-in-law had. He was so moved by the whole thing that he got terribly teased at the reception because he asked the minister, if she could shorten the vows because he didn't think that he could make it through them without crying.
At the ceremony he started to tear up as soon as he came out of the back of the church to the altar. Tears were also streaming down his face when she came down the aisle.
He did better at the ceremony than at the reception for holding back the tears. On my side I was just as glad that she was marrying a sensitive man, who obviously cared for her quite deeply.
I even said a speech at the reception to the 200 people that were there. I was nervous, but when my kid's dad asked to look at my speech. Well that was a mistake. It was obvious that he didn't like it.
I was nervous before that, but truly terrified by the time I got up to the mic.
Everyone said that I did ok. I'll tell you part of what I said.
"I have a friend who call's her son's partner, her daughter-in- love. From the first time I saw David look into my daughters eyes, he immediately became my son-in-love.
I am very proud to officially welcome David into my family, as my son-in-law.
Everyone else had these long speeches, all typed up. I had written mine on the envelope that my hotel card was in. At least I got up and trembled.
I was very touched when the maid of honor mentioned that Elizabeth got her compassion for people from me. Had to look down because otherwise I would have cried.
They are now on their honeymoon to DisneyWorld. They left 6am Monday morning. While she was at the airport she texted me "In airport waiting.Thanks for being there for all it on the weekend.It was perfect and u looked beautiful"
Just coming down off an emotional high but wanted to let you all know a little bit about what my weekend was like.
Glad to be back.
I did it. The weekend went wonderful. Couldn't have been nicer.
It was a long weekend here. Thanksgiving. We went down to my daughter's, and new son-in-laws, about 2 1/2 hours from where I am.
It was really special. You all know of what my perceived lack of mothering abilities.
I thought that I was just going to get my hair done Saturday morning and then head back off to the hotel, having to head to the church on my own.
It was so great because my daughter asked me to join her for the day.
I got to ride around in the limo with them, also spent lunch, and was there when she put on her dress.
Also there for the limo ride to the church, when she shed a few tears.
Not like the tears my son-in-law had. He was so moved by the whole thing that he got terribly teased at the reception because he asked the minister, if she could shorten the vows because he didn't think that he could make it through them without crying.
At the ceremony he started to tear up as soon as he came out of the back of the church to the altar. Tears were also streaming down his face when she came down the aisle.
He did better at the ceremony than at the reception for holding back the tears. On my side I was just as glad that she was marrying a sensitive man, who obviously cared for her quite deeply.
I even said a speech at the reception to the 200 people that were there. I was nervous, but when my kid's dad asked to look at my speech. Well that was a mistake. It was obvious that he didn't like it.
I was nervous before that, but truly terrified by the time I got up to the mic.
Everyone said that I did ok. I'll tell you part of what I said.
"I have a friend who call's her son's partner, her daughter-in- love. From the first time I saw David look into my daughters eyes, he immediately became my son-in-love.
I am very proud to officially welcome David into my family, as my son-in-law.
Everyone else had these long speeches, all typed up. I had written mine on the envelope that my hotel card was in. At least I got up and trembled.
I was very touched when the maid of honor mentioned that Elizabeth got her compassion for people from me. Had to look down because otherwise I would have cried.
They are now on their honeymoon to DisneyWorld. They left 6am Monday morning. While she was at the airport she texted me "In airport waiting.Thanks for being there for all it on the weekend.It was perfect and u looked beautiful"
Just coming down off an emotional high but wanted to let you all know a little bit about what my weekend was like.
Glad to be back.
(((((Montygirl))))) That is wonderful!!! Of course your daughter wanted you to be with you the whole time. As I've always said... it's so obvious that you were a wonderful mother - your children love you so much. I'm so happy that all went well, Monty, and even happier still that your daughter found such a seemingly wonderful man to spend her life with! He obviously does love her and see how beautiful she is, huh? That's so great. I wish you would stop doubting your parenting and just accept that you were a kick-ass mommy who raised these strong, kind, awesome children. I bet you'll be a kick-ass grandma too when the time comes!!
What you said in your speech was beautiful. Your ex-husband is a real jerk, Monty. He was looking to freak you out before you spoke - sooooo glad and soooooooooo proud of you for not letting him! You said your speech and your daughter heard it and felt. Speaking as someone who will be married next August, I can tell you how much it means to me that my family love and accept my fiance - and they do! If my mother said that? I'd be thrilled...
Good going, Monty girl!!!! Be proud of yourself!!!!!
What you said in your speech was beautiful. Your ex-husband is a real jerk, Monty. He was looking to freak you out before you spoke - sooooo glad and soooooooooo proud of you for not letting him! You said your speech and your daughter heard it and felt. Speaking as someone who will be married next August, I can tell you how much it means to me that my family love and accept my fiance - and they do! If my mother said that? I'd be thrilled...
Good going, Monty girl!!!! Be proud of yourself!!!!!
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
well done monty
we,ll done girl ,we all new you would be fine ,it sounds like it was all very
beutiful so very pleased for you ,this memory all your life you can replay ,on and on and on ,,great .xn728 ken ps those tears from your son in law ,its take more of a man to cry ,he,ll protect and love your girl.
beutiful so very pleased for you ,this memory all your life you can replay ,on and on and on ,,great .xn728 ken ps those tears from your son in law ,its take more of a man to cry ,he,ll protect and love your girl.
A man crying on his wedding day is so beautiful... I've seen it once or twice, and known, just like Ken said, that this man was in it for real, and was totally in love with the bride. Your daughter is lucky to have found someone who is not afraid to allow his emotions to show, but also felt them deeply enough for them to stir.
hello monty
hey monty how you doing .hope your ok ,if your up im happy ,if your feeling low ,then i wish for you to feel better ,be strong monty ,
and stand up when you feel you can ,,,,,,,,,night ken
and stand up when you feel you can ,,,,,,,,,night ken
Things don't seem to be going very well.
I went to see my gp earlier this week and there isn't too much that he could do for me. He put in a call to my psychiatrist to see if he could see me earlier than my appointment on the 24th. I just got a call this morning that he had a cancellation this afternoon so I will at least get the chance to talk to him.
We have a real shortage of psychiatrists where I live. I usually have to wait 3 or 4 months, in between visits. This time I am seeing him in less than 4 weeks than last time.
The depression has really hit me hard, I am dropping quite quickly. It is so frustrating because this stuff has happened so often before (feeling like I have fallen off the edge of a cliff).
He is a very nice man and (for the most part) seems to listen to me.Whenever I go in to see him he starts off with looking me in the eye and shaking my hand.
The only problem is that I am sick right now and I am not sure if he will want me in his office. I am going to show up anyway and see where we go from there.
Got the chance to see both, my son and my daughter this week. It always feels good to get a hug from them.
I went to see my gp earlier this week and there isn't too much that he could do for me. He put in a call to my psychiatrist to see if he could see me earlier than my appointment on the 24th. I just got a call this morning that he had a cancellation this afternoon so I will at least get the chance to talk to him.
We have a real shortage of psychiatrists where I live. I usually have to wait 3 or 4 months, in between visits. This time I am seeing him in less than 4 weeks than last time.
The depression has really hit me hard, I am dropping quite quickly. It is so frustrating because this stuff has happened so often before (feeling like I have fallen off the edge of a cliff).
He is a very nice man and (for the most part) seems to listen to me.Whenever I go in to see him he starts off with looking me in the eye and shaking my hand.
The only problem is that I am sick right now and I am not sure if he will want me in his office. I am going to show up anyway and see where we go from there.
Got the chance to see both, my son and my daughter this week. It always feels good to get a hug from them.
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shatteredhopes
- Posts: 664
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
- Location: U.S.
(((((((((((((((((Monty)))))))))))))))) I am so sorry to hear you are going in a down cycle...I know it must be very frustrating to feel a little relief, only to cycle down again.
Plus, to be physically sick on top of depression! Whew! I know for me when the physical pain is bad, it feeds the depression and the depression feeds the pain, making both worse. You must feel physically depleted between depression and illness. Hope you can enjoy soup and tea and other little comforts.
I'm glad the doc can see you early. I have to wait three months between appointments, and I have to pay for the visit for what the insurance doesn't cover. Its hard everywhere I guess. I get frustrated with 3 months, couldn't imagaine waiting 4...then he only sees me for 5 minutes tops. I get no therapy or counseling. Still have to pay $30 a visit though.
You give so much support to all of us here. I wish there was something I could say or do to help, but if I were there with you, I would put clean sheets on your bed, make you some soup and tea, put on a c.d. of waves crashing on the shore, and let you eat and then just nap for a while, while I did your dishes. I hope you have someone to look out for you. Its so hard to be alone when your sick, much less both sick and depressed.
Thinking of you and wishing you a little physical healing and some light and peace in your day...
Plus, to be physically sick on top of depression! Whew! I know for me when the physical pain is bad, it feeds the depression and the depression feeds the pain, making both worse. You must feel physically depleted between depression and illness. Hope you can enjoy soup and tea and other little comforts.
I'm glad the doc can see you early. I have to wait three months between appointments, and I have to pay for the visit for what the insurance doesn't cover. Its hard everywhere I guess. I get frustrated with 3 months, couldn't imagaine waiting 4...then he only sees me for 5 minutes tops. I get no therapy or counseling. Still have to pay $30 a visit though.
You give so much support to all of us here. I wish there was something I could say or do to help, but if I were there with you, I would put clean sheets on your bed, make you some soup and tea, put on a c.d. of waves crashing on the shore, and let you eat and then just nap for a while, while I did your dishes. I hope you have someone to look out for you. Its so hard to be alone when your sick, much less both sick and depressed.
Thinking of you and wishing you a little physical healing and some light and peace in your day...
Monty - I'm sending you a hug. I am sorry to hear that you are in a downward spiral. It is so hard to deal with. I am glad you have a psych appt today and I hope you are able to share with him exactly what is going on with you. Don't hold anything back...he needs to know. Please know that I am thinking of you and hoping that you update again after your appt so we can see how you are doing.
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