i need a lot of help, please.

[i need major help]

I need help, i know for a fact i have depression. Their is no way for me (that i know of) to get help. My parents have seen scars on my wrist, they do nothing but yell at me for it. I stay in my room all day, they can tell i'm depressed, i KNOW i need help, but i can't ask my parents to help me or to take me anywhere. They don't think any Professional would help, you just pay them to talk. I'm desperate, now. I've been through physical, emotional, and sexual abuse with no help at all. but i'm down to my last thread. i've been through so many things, it's unimaginable. please help =(

[Monty]

I am quite behind in my checking in on the forum stuff.
Can see from the dates that not a lot of us are able to be online lately. I am hoping that once the summer ends, that everyone will be able to spend more time on their computers.

i need major help,
Sounds like you are going through a tough time. Actually when someone says that they are down to my last thread, it is getting pretty serious.

You don't sound like you are very amenable to the possibility of going to a counsellor. I can only speak from experience. I was very hesitant at first talking to an outsider. I had always been taught that "what is said at home, stays at home".

Even when I first started going to see someone, it took me a long time until I was able to verbalize what the problems were in my life. My counsellors (actually the first one dropped me because I wouldn't talk, we just sat there looking at each other during the sessions) spent a lot of time reading. I couldn't say the things out loud, but I could put them down on paper.

It seems like doing it that way kind of warmed me up to being able to actually talk to them. For me it helped a lot. I was often told that "your therapist can't be your friend, and you friend can be your therapist".
A professional is able to give you an unbiased, out of the situation, kind of opinions.

It is their business to listen to people, and their problems. It got to the point that I understood that my counsellor wasn't as affected by what I said. It was her job. Completely different than if I had tried to talk to a friend. I couldn't scare a counsellor with my, let me call them unusual thoughts.

I was also able to talk to someone about the cutting without freaking them out.

It worked for me. I guess that I had enough on my mind (had more than 30 years that I had kept a lot of stuff in, that they were getting paid to listen to me and offer suggestions. Not the other way around.

[aim]

(((((help)))))

It really sounds like you've been through hell and back, huh? Consider yourself strong for just being there every day, fighting the battle and winning. And you ARE winning! You are looking for help and not allowing yourself to be sucked up in the depression.

I really do encourage you to see a doctor on your own. The doctor might be able to shed some light to your parents for you. Depression does require professional help most of the time. Hang in there, ok? Life will get better - please don't ever stop believing.

[i need major help]

acually i did almost succeed in killing myself, shortly after that post. i overdosed on aspirin and took around 60 pills with 325mg. i was a little over the lethal limit, and a lot happened. i was very close to having a kidney dialasis. they told me i'm majorly depressed, but my mom won't let me take medicine. yes, it is hard to talk to counslers and therapist. i have to, now. but i'm really close to killing myself, by taking more aspirin than before so i do succeed. because a lot just happened to me, again. now my fam. is splitting up, come to find out wen i walked in the front door a little while ago. and i got blamed. you couldn't even begin to imagine what i've had to go through. =*(

[aim]

(((((major help))))) I know it all seems so difficult now, but please try to hang in there, ok? Life will get better... it must.

I'm glad u did not succeed, and I sincerely hope you don't try it again. Your family is not being supportive of you. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU ARE SICK. That's what depression is, help. A sickness. The same as diabetes or cancer... your family needs to understand that.

Please know that everyone here on this forum is here to support you, ok? Have you gone into the chat room associated with this forum? There are many good people in there who would love to talk to you and are just there to offer support and guidance.

Please remember, above all else, that depression is an illness. You cannot help it. You are not doing anything on purpose. You need help, which I'm glad that you are getting... not glad of the reason, but you will find that talking to a therapist will help you. Go in with an open mind, and, frankly, spill your guts out, ok? Unburden yourself.

Your family is acting very selfish and cowardly by blaming all of this on you. They are not the sick ones, you are, and they need to accept and understand that. And if they don't? Remember... IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

You will get through this, help. Promise. Just keep holding on...

[redux]

Do me a personal favor and stay away from the aspirin. That's too yucky, besides, your body is an important asset, don't damage it. No matter what happened before, the future is what's important. If you have sufficient health and energy, you can make money, pursue meaningful activities and have a successful life. The emotional things can be sorted out with time.

[i need major help]

i am seeing my therapist several times a week, currently, and i am working on it, my brother keeps calling me a suicidal retard and stuff. my parents keep yelling at me that i have to stop thinking this way, and i just keep getting made fun of, i don't know what to do. my therapist is concerned for my safety, at the moment. and my parents have to watch me 24/7. literally or i'd be put in a long-term hospital. =(

[crystalgaze]

I, too, am in/have been in a situation where my "loved ones" are not supportive. It is as though they pick up guns & shoot at me periodically. It's okay, though.

They're just not equipped. (I don't believe they will know what is you or any one else is experiencing, unless they go through it themselves.)

This is easier said than done, but: Don't bother with them.

What I mean is: Give them the biggest WHATEVER/LATER FOR Y'ALL you can muster. If you can start, continue on with this. I usually do it in my mind.

I have had my brother say similar things, but I really don't pay him or any one else any attention when the foulness comes out of people's mouths because I know the truth. (If I had only once thought about raising my hand to any one other than myself, they would all be dead & I would either be in jail or also dead. So... As far as I am concerned, they are all very lucky to still be here; they just don't know it yet.)

The 1 thing I think you might really have to try to do is that when they start shouting at you, if you have the strength, please tell them to stop & that it's not helping any thing. I am not sure whether you could call the police if it gets too out of hand. I'm sorry I could not be of more help.

Hang in there & take care. ~Crystal

[aim]

Hi again, major help.

Ugh. Sounds like you are in the unfortunate situation of those closest to you know at all understanding depression and what it does. I'm sure your parents love you, but they are terrified about what could happen to you because of how you are feeling. Your parents need education on depression, major help. Can your therapist provide that to them? They need to understand what works and what does not if they are to begin giving you the support you really need.

As for your brother? God brothers can be horrible, huh? Don't listen to him. He's just being a jerk for no reason. That's often what siblings do to one another - especially when they are younger. He does not know how to handle what is happening to you, so he is lashing out at you. I know, I know, it does not make any sense, but I'm sure that is all it is. Your brother loves you too, I'm sure of it.