Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Tue May 14, 2019 8:41 pm


Postby SaulPerezJr » Tue May 14, 2019 9:10 pm

I don’t know where else to turn so I found this site. I’ve been battling depression since 12/19/2016, when my mother suddenly died. She was 64. Both my daughters have depression too, more so since my mom’s passing. At one point, I felt I may have gotten past it; that was until I lost my job in February when the company eliminated my job due to downsizing. My wife has a background dealing with mental health issues and has been dealing with my daughters’ issues for the last 3 years. Add my problems to the mix & she’s feeling overwhelmed.

My youngest has had episodes of self-harm, cutting her arm with razor blades, X-Acto knives, pencil sharpener blades, whatever she can get her hands on. It’s to the point where all her teachers keep everything sharp away from her. She’ll be going to high school in the fall & the fact she is is adding to her problems. My oldest has mostly self confidence issues, although she is very smart and creative. She plays viola in her school orchestra and has had 2 original compositions played in public. Yet they both still go to therapy regularly and take antidepressants daily. It seems they don’t get better because I’m not.

As for me, I have lost all interest in things that used to make me happy. I used to watch WWE with my youngest, never missing a pay per view. We barely do that anymore. I cannot stand it when other people have good things happen to them; getting married, having babies, etc & they post it on social media. I was going to look for a therapist but I had to put that on hold because I was kicked off of my state’s insurance. And my new one doesn’t start till June.

I used to be looked up to when in 2012 I lost 197 lbs in an 11-month journey, which was a high point in my life. I have long since gone back to where I was due to my depression. I feel lost, helpless, useless, and have no confidence in myself. I have lost interest in being intimate with my wife because I feel worthless. All in all, it’s been a rough 2 & 1/2 years. Now, because my daughters haven’t gotten better & my wife is at her wit’s end, I am now saying: I need help.

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Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:22 pm

Re: Hi

Postby kvolm2016 » Thu May 16, 2019 1:22 am

Yes you definitely have a lot going on with your personal and family life so it is easy to understand why you are feeling lost and helpless. I hope you can recognize that most people in your same situation would feel the same. Glad you found this site for some support. I hope you will continue to invest in conversation here. It is in community that we can find strength. Since it is nearly June, have you had a chance to identify the therapist that you would like to work with? I also wonder whether you think that in addition to your individual counseling, some family counseling could benefit all of you together?

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Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:43 pm

Re: Hi

Postby MiddleChild » Thu May 16, 2019 5:58 pm

Have you ever considered going to a nearby church and talking to a pastor? I have witnessed many people with depression, feelings of emptiness, fear and anxiety, relieved after talking to a pastor. I hope that you would consider this. It might help you like many people I know. A pastor can help you realize certain truths that might alleviate your anxiety or depression. Some churches have other volunteers including health professionals, counselors and even psychiatrists who help for free. They might be able to help you, especially since you and your wife have so much on your plate. I think it is worth a shot.

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Joined: Sat May 02, 2020 4:32 pm

Re: Hi

Postby Jay27woods » Sat May 02, 2020 5:49 pm

I’m sorry to hear how depression is not only affecting u but your daughters as well. I’m also a depressed parent so I know how it can make you feel worthless as a dad, I often feel incapable of loving them the way they deserve to be loved. I can’t imagine the sadness u must feel when you see those cuts on your daughters arm, she still sounds young though and I hope the therapy will help her when she has to go out into the real world. For me I know the only thing I can do is try to better my mental health status, I’m no good to anyone (especially myself) until I find help. Funny thing is depression is a villainous state of mind, keeping you trapped in self destructive behavior because it’s all you know. I wish you the best and I hope we both find the help we need, if you need someone to talk to don’t hesitate to contact me.

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