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Everyday life. How was your day?

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lost-soul
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

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Postby lost-soul » Sun Jul 08, 2018 12:14 am

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Last edited by lost-soul on Wed Jul 18, 2018 7:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

lost-soul
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

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Postby lost-soul » Sun Jul 08, 2018 8:08 pm

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Last edited by lost-soul on Wed Jul 18, 2018 7:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MeToo7
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 10:32 am

Re: Any advice on dating while struggling with depression?

Postby MeToo7 » Tue Jul 10, 2018 11:11 pm

lost-soul wrote:I know that this isnt really something to ask on here but i will anyway. Im just looking for any sort of advice to dating because it be something id like to get back into but i have low self esteem issues. Or at least a few tips on what to say or how to act in order for someone to not notice my flaws (i.e. depression, and low self esteem) i know this sounds desperate but i need help.


I think all topics are ok on here :) Looking for tips is a great idea. I do agree with some tips listed in other comments, like putting your best foot forward, wearing nice outfits that make you feel good about yourself etc. I think my tip would be this: Figure out what your strengths are, what you are good at, what hobbies you enjoy etc. Then, accept dates only with people who have similar interests. Why? Because you'll be 'matched' with someone who will appreciate that you enjoy (say hiking, golf...whatever) same as them! Instead of feeling bad that you don't know anything about their interests or aren't good at it, you'll already be in an 'even playing field'. Also, if you pick activities you are good at and enjoy (cooking, reading, going to concerts etc), chances are that you'll feel good about being involved in doing them and the depression won't be as obvious. Make sense?

Lwoodall
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2016 2:25 pm

Re: Any advice on dating while struggling with depression?

Postby Lwoodall » Wed Jul 11, 2018 6:20 pm

We all need help in our lives. None of us is born knowing everything. I believe that one good advice is to be yourself when you are on a date with someone. And speak kindly about yourself and about others. I do not think you are the only who needs advice about dating. You are being wise by seeking advice. Something that can help is going out to walk outdoors before going out on a date. I’ve heard that walking provides benefits not only physically. Maybe it will help you feel relaxed and I know that walking helps depression tremendously. Think of yourself as someone brave and courageous, and be kind to yourself. Those are things I tell myself too. God bless you!

FayeGaudreau
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:51 am

Re: Any advice on dating while struggling with depression?

Postby FayeGaudreau » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:54 am

I am sorry that you are struggling so much. You should do something to control it like try medication, exercise or try talking to a counselor. You can also talk a psychic like Voyante Sérieuse to know the exact reason why are you facing these problems.

Cactus.ly
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:45 pm

Re: Any advice on dating while struggling with depression?

Postby Cactus.ly » Wed Jul 18, 2018 5:52 am

Get some personal wins before you schedule a date, so you can build confidence and won't come off too needy or weird. You also need to work on trust so you dont come off as abrasive while you are desiring and requesting closeness.

If you must schedule dates now,

1. make some choices ahead of time about how you're going to respond to rejection or your perceptions of rejection/failure such as you're not going out to fail, you're testing...so you're not bringing home failure and rejection. No grudges. Just information for your next date. Gamify it if you must. If you start to dwell on something, remind yourself that isnt allowed for two hours.

2. Go on Meetup.com to find some groups and events that serve your interest. Do things you like to do so you can meet people who like to do those things too. Helps with conversation. If you're in tech, will def find other Aspies.

3. Make dates to have fun. Decide the first few will be bad and don't internalize it. Use the feedback to build on.

I know meds dont work for you, but you have to find a way to get grounded so that anxiety isnt buzzing in your head and keeping you from being present. You just have to. If you just cant, then roll with it. Engage it. Joke about it.

Tell your date you have ASD and what that means and how she can help you understand and better communicate.

And you didnt fail with sex. That's nature and happens to a lot of guys when they are anxious about performing.


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