Okay, now what?

[wanttobedead]

There's only just so much you can accomplish on the internet.

Words on a computer screen don't do it for me.

How much compassion can you show to someone you've never seen, heard, talked to, hung out with, or even met?

For all you know, I have a tail.

We have all kinds of physical 'requirements' for people we know in life--whether it's someone we might want as a friend or someone we're considering dating.

They have to be tall, short, fat, thin, white, black.

On the internet, all they have to be is Times New Roman, 12pt?

I could be a racist, a serial killer, a nun, have leprosy, three eyes. I could be an old man or a 12-year-old girl--you have no idea.

If I killed myself tomorrow, what would you miss?

My typing?

[fallen]

it does not matter to me what you are,
what you look like or whether you are hateful or kind, i care no matter what.
that is compassion
take care

[Frame]

There are real living feeling minds behinds these words; just as if they were in a hand written letter (which from time to time I write), or in a face to face conversation (many of which I have each day). It's just another way to communicate.

I'm not here trying to create a life. I have had questions, asked them, and had them answered. I've found questions I could answer and so I did. Unlike outside my front door, these people are from all over the world. I like that, but not in stead of being in the physical world; in addition to. This is a place of common interest, sort of like a free form classroom.

These people could be: racist, have leprosy, be Roman, a serial killer, have 12 pointy heads, work at the New York Times, or the International Space Station (they have internet), could be 12 or 120, have a drug habit or a nuns habit. I'm not trolling for a date or shopping for RPGs. I'm not expecting to find a life partner or even a life pen pal. I'm just talking to people all over the world about a subject which is important to me. I'm chronically depressed and it helps to talk about it. I've found this to be the best place. A safe place.

I also like to talk about photography, visual cognitive processes, abstract art, the craft of hand made books, pottery,... but I've found more fertile places for these discussions, some off line and some on line. And I have people come to me in person who want to talk about the same things we talk about here. That only makes discussions here more valuable.

But Yes; there is only so much you can accomplish on line...so much.
And if you killed yourself, would I miss you tomorrow? Well, ...not that soon; people don't always post every day. They disappear then show up. It would take a few days; but I would wonder, then I would miss you. Then I'd get over it. [Unless your my Mother. OMG, your not my Mother are you?] After all, that's part of the safety in anonymity. We can't get too close

[wanttobedead]

If you felt compassion for someone who is nothing more than typed words on a screen, you'd feel for everyone all over the world, every single person that died in war, accidents, disease, cancer, etc.

A person like that would turn on the news and be a basket case in 15 minutes flat.

That's not the way humans are wired to function.

You can feel sympathy and you can feel something you might call compassion, but it's not.

This is inconsistent--to feel nothing for people sitting right next to you, and shed tears for someone who is nothing but words on a computer screen.

I can't get anything off my chest on the internet but a little pent up frustration over the very deranged way our society works right now.

In order to feel a true connection with another person, there has to be physical proximity.

Otherwise, you're just reading a journal entry or a letter or an advertisement, and that does not compel one to deep, genuine feeling.

[karolanne]

Hi folks,

I though to put my word here.

I'm gratefull because I have my niece and I can talk to. But she is the only one in my life and of course, I can't talk to her about my mentall illness. And I can't always tell her about how I feel because she'll go away. Yes, people, even if they love your very much, can't bare to hear someone being suicidal all the time. The reason is that they have to think about their own happiness, and someone depressed drains energy and make happiness go away. Every people on this planet wants to be happy, whatever is the way to achieve that.

When you say that words on a screen is nothing much than reading a book, that reminds me of a software that existed in beginning of computer era. It was the ancestor of a bot. It was a supposed psychologist and you wrote to him your issues and he answered some pre programmed answers. That was definitively nothing more than words on a screen.

What you read on this forum are words coming from real people. They truly take the time to answer you, wich proves to me that they care about you and your situation and that they want to help you.

On this forum, you can benefit of words from people that have a lot of experience in the mathers. I strongly suggest you to take this opportunity.

You seems to have issues to talk about your problems here. Take a look around this forum and you'll see that people really talk about them and they receive help.

Take care and good luck.

[Frame]

Perhaps a journal entry or a post here does not compel you. That's OK; I'm not judging. But for me it is compelling. For me they're not just words; they are ideas, concepts, feelings, people with needs, people with things to share,...

There is real science behind the idea that humans (and not just humans) actually ARE wired that way. And there is a tremendous amount of evidence that advertisements incite deep genuine feelings. Advertisers that been working on that since words were invented.

And let me clear up an assumption you have made about someone, who you admit "you don't know and doesn't know you". As a rule, I don't watch the news because when I do then I do become a basket case, as much because of the bad news as the dramatically compelling way the actors (news casters) present it and the commercials (OMG, the commercials...It even works that way if I read the paper every day. So call me crazy. I don't mind.).

I still try to stay current, at my own pace; and I surely do agree (I'd use the word empathize but it sounds like a trigger word) with you that the world is seeming more deranged each day. And I agree that true personal connections with real physical proximity aren't just important; they're are essential.

But I don't have to that same physical closeness to have compassion for you or other people on this sight. Your story has value to me. Things all exist on a spectrum.

[Frame]

Oh, and about inconsistency.... Yup, guilty. I guess maybe you get to a certain age and things like consistency don't seem as important. I look back and see a lot of wasted energy on consistency. Don't get me wrong; I like the concept, but for me it's something to aspire to, a worthy pole at the end of a spectrum.

It's a bit like hypocrisy. I don't like hypocrisy; like I don't like inconsistency. But after raising a child I realized something. As a parent your still human, not a God. You want the best for your children. You try to give them the best parts of your life. You still have flaws, bad habits, ignorance,...; but you teach you kids not to have ignorance, not to have bad habits. So, as the human beings, you love the most, grow; up they see you more and more as a hypocrite. If your lucky they still love you. But you can't escape hypocrisy. Nor inconsistency. They're part of us all.

[wanttobedead]

Oh, and about inconsistency.... Yup, guilty. I guess maybe you get to a certain age and things like consistency don't seem as important. I look back and see a lot of wasted energy on consistency. Don't get me wrong; I like the concept, but for me it's something to aspire to, a worthy pole at the end of a spectrum.

It's a bit like hypocrisy. I don't like hypocrisy; like I don't like inconsistency. But after raising a child I realized something. As a parent your still human, My still human what? You're missing words somewhere. not a God. You want the best for your children. You try to give them the best parts of your life. You still have flaws, bad habits, ignorance,...; but you teach you kids not to have ignorance, not to have bad habits. So, as the human beings, you love the most, grow; up they see you more and more as a hypocrite. If your lucky My lucky what? I'm having a hard time reading your posts. they still love you. But you can't escape hypocrisy. Nor inconsistency. They're part of us all.

We can keep justifying this, but basically, we're digitally masturbating on each other.

When I was coming up, you talked to PEOPLE because they cared.

You didn't talk to your TV or your toaster oven or your vacuum cleaner.

Yes, this kind of venue can do some good.

It's my point that the fact that this is the ONLY recourse beyond paid counseling for people in crisis is proof this society is socially deranged and the precise reason the number of people in crisis is exploding.

Because the people in our lives do not care.

If they cared, we would have real people to talk to.

[Frame]

I'm sorry this is your only recourse. There should be more options.

And I'm sorry you don't have real people to talk to. If I could I'd change that for you.

I know what masturbation is. This is a bit different, for me anyway. I do have real people to talk to, but sometimes I still prefer talking to my vacuum cleaner. People aren't always what they're cracked up to be, even the ones that, I'm convinced, care about me. [I don't have toaster but if I did, my cats might be jealous.]

Oh and, once again; my apologies As a parent your still human make that: "...you're still human". and ; If your lucky... you guessed it: "If you're lucky...". Seriously sorry about the grammar. It never will be my strong point. I'm living by spell check. Sometimes it lets me down (almost just like many real people I know).

[Frame]

Just I'd stop by to say it's not your typing I miss. To be honest, your typing looks pretty much like everyone else's around here. But I was wondering if any thing has changed in your life. Even if you still want to be dead; maybe it's just a little less today. Thought maybe you'd let us know.

[4EverMe]

Well said, karolanne and Frame. OMG, Frame! One of your posts got me laughing so hard I had to wipe tears from my eyes! (You probably know the parts I'm referring to)

Why the disrespect, wanttobedead? Are you, yourself, not posting your feelings here? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to have some kind of vendetta against this site, and you seem to get off on picking apart the posts of others. (poking fun at the way people write)
Hmm. I've spotted grammatical errors in YOUR posts, but I don't sit here like a snob and point them out to you one by one. It would be a bit childish to focus my attention on your grammar, rather than on what you're trying to say. Agreed? So, hopefully we can bypass the B.S. and get down to the nitty gritty.

I do agree with you, on the concept of how unfortunate it is that people nowadays are needing to turn to websites for help, rather than having face to face contact. But, hey? Some don't have much of a choice. All of my loved ones are going through so much B.S. in their own lives, that I am not going to dump ALL of my problems onto them, in every stinkin detail! Yes, we do discuss some of our issues, via long distance phone calls. Love and empathy/sympathy are exchanged, and it's a comfort. I wish all of my loved ones could be standing beside me, but they're scattered across the states. Haven't seen them in years.
However, I've made some pretty good friends on this site. I was like you, a few months back. (wanting to be dead) Someone I befriended here gave me some hope and encouragement to continue drudging on. Sure, I was reading words on a screen, but they come from the mind and heart of a real human being. Maybe you'll read MY post as just mere words. Perhaps, you'll troll around seeking grammatical errors. Doesn't bother me any. Just know I'm a real and genuine person, behind these words. Also, know that when your words appear on a screen, there is, likewise, a human being who is speaking and being heard.

[wanttobedead]

Why the disrespect, wanttobedead? Are you, yourself, not posting your feelings here?

No. Where do you see word-one about anything that's bothering me except the ONE thing that directly affects how I can go about finding someone to talk to in a socially deranged system? What are my personal issues? What's eating away at me? You know nothing.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to have some kind of vendetta against this site,

You are wrong, and as requested, you have been corrected.

and you seem to get off on picking apart the posts of others. (poking fun at the way people write)

Again, corrected as being wrong. I speak English. I don't speak bingo, facebook, twitter, or texting. If you're going to say 'your' when speaking to me, then you simply must then explain my what. This is third grade grammar. If you can't wrap your brain around the concept of 'you are' as a contraction, then say 'you are' every time you mean 'you are.' 'Your' does not, will not, and never has meant 'you are.'


Hmm. I've spotted grammatical errors in YOUR posts,

Then if you were considerate, you would tell me what those are so that I don't continue making those mistakes, which would make me look and sound stupid. I NEVER correct random typos--you can tell the random typo from the error made over and over because the person doesn't know what they're doing. If someone keeps using 'your' when they mean "you're," then you can rest assured they think that's the way it's done. Where are my errors? I can typo with the best of them. Please let me know what they are so that I can correct them.

but I don't sit here like a snob and point them out to you one by one.

Snobs are everyone who know how to speak English? So rather than pay attention in third grade English class, you just insult everyone who did? How old are you, not knowing how to speak/read/write your own language? You can tell ESL from an American who can't speak their own language. A snob would jump all over the post of someone from, say, Brazil, struggling to post on a website in English. But if it's an American, it's not ESL, right? Maybe it's EOL? English as an only language and still can't speak it?

It would be a bit childish to focus my attention on your grammar,

Very childish--third grade childish. This is a grammar rule you learn when you're eight years old. I'd say my expectations aren't high at all. To someone who knows English, what you say conveys a meaning. The only people who understand gibberish are other illiterates. He started out saying my something, and then didn't tell me what that something was. I was confused, and rightfully so.

rather than on what you're trying to say. Agreed?

No, not agreed. In order to do any good, you have to be able to express a thought. Agreed?


So, hopefully we can bypass the B.S. and get down to the nitty gritty.

We haven't even agreed as to which post contains all the BS. I'd say it's the one I'm responding to now, agreed? You're quite a snot.

I do agree with you, on the concept of how unfortunate it is that people nowadays are needing to turn to websites for help, rather than having face to face contact. But, hey? Some don't have much of a choice.

And you are precisely why they have no choice--defending this. I take it you also don't make yourself available to the people in your actual life. How do you know you don't have friends and relatives on here right now, posting because they have no one to talk to? This is a bizarre, deranged way of doing things.

All of my loved ones are going through so much B.S. in their own lives, that I am not going to dump ALL of my problems onto them, in every stinkin detail!

Who said 'every stinkin (sic) detail' ? Tactical wording, so that my expectations appear unreasonable. Guess what--before the internet, TALKING TO EACH OTHER AS FRIENDS AND SISTERS AND BROTHERS is exactly what we did, and we didn't have NEARLY the same number of screwed up, deranged people that we do now. This way of doing things is actually screwing people up more.

And the people in here have no BS in their lives???? Are you serious??? You dump on strangers because your friends and relatives have lives?? Wow, that was incredibly patronizing. No one on this website has anything going on--they have no problems, no jobs, no outside interests? Did you read that before you posted it??

Yes, we do discuss some of our issues, via long distance phone calls. Love and empathy/sympathy are exchanged, and it's a comfort.

You can't hug someone over the internet. It can't be done. It's not a comfort. Maybe that's why we keep coming back, like sooner or later, (given we have no other options because people simply can't be bothered to give a crap) it will work?

I wish all of my loved ones could be standing beside me, but they're scattered across the states. Haven't seen them in years.

Pick up the phone. That works a lot better than typing in little boxes on the internet. At least you can hear a voice.


However, I've made some pretty good friends on this site.

facebook has been blurring the line between 'friend' and 'acquaintance' since 2004. You can't be more than acquaintances when 100% of your interaction is on an internet website. Can't hang out, go anywhere, do anything. Have you/will you ever meet? Did you know you can live with someone in the same house for years, even decades, and not know who they are? Bet that's real easy to pull off on the internet, then. I know whereof I speak. Just went through this very thing. Was on YIM for literally hours per day over the course of four years. Come to find out I didn't know this person at all. It's easy to argue the point until it happens. There's a difference between 'friend' and 'acquaintance' that's as deep and wide as the Pacific ocean.

I was like you, a few months back. (wanting to be dead) Someone I befriended here gave me some hope and encouragement to continue drudging on. Sure, I was reading words on a screen, but they come from the mind and heart of a real human being.

Which can't be evident on a computer screen.

Maybe you'll read MY post as just mere words. Perhaps, you'll troll

Tactical wording used in a derogatory way. What I'm doing isn't trolling. What you are doing is trolling. I have a valid complaint. Or you could just dismiss me as a troll and turn on your TV and keep watching as more and more 'trolls' unravel. Haven't noticed at all how this is a growing problem? And you sit on your computer calling them trolls.


around seeking grammatical errors. Doesn't bother me any.

Nonsensical posts only make sense to other illiterates, and of course, they wouldn't be the ones bothered by them, would they? You seem awfully concerned with grammatical errors in this post, going on and on and on about them. Personally, I need to be able to understand the responses people post. That's another unreasonable request? Learn how to speak your own language. You spend too much time arguing why literacy isn't necessary and no effort learning basic grammar.

Just know I'm a real and genuine person, behind these words.

Can't hug someone over the internet. I keep saying it, it keeps going way over the heads of people who don't remember how much better it was in the days before people thought they could accomplish anything at all on a computer screen. You can not hug over the internet. It can't be done.

Also, know that when your words appear on a screen, there is, likewise, a human being who is speaking and being heard.




Doesn't matter. You just go from post to post to post. And your post was nothing but bashing me and insulting me and then this lame encouragement at the very end. Slap me, then try to take my hand?

Can't do that over the internet either. You're on a website geared toward troubled people in crisis. Ought not to tell them off, right? How can you know if one of your tirades is going to push someone over the edge?

[fallen]

on behalf of foreverme
" you throw thorns, falling in my silence they become flowers ".
take care.

[wanttobedead]

on behalf of foreverme
" you throw thorns, falling in my silence they become flowers ".
take care.

She threw them first, and at me.

There is nothing I can do about my problems because there is nowhere to go for help.

[Frame]

So, with respect to anything changing in your life; I guess I'll take that as a no. But I hope you will let us know, for better OR worse. I'm glad your posting.

I definitely concur with some of your virulent points;

I think, as an American, it's one of our most asinine self-righteous traits that we (most of us anyway) can't be bothered to learn other languages. It's one of the signs I see that we couldn't possibly remain the dominant society on earth. It cuts us off from understanding the rest of the world. But they'll have their revenge. I'll bet Ghengis Khan spoke many languages. [Then there's Battushig Myanganbayar].

And words are most beautiful when their spoken. Poetry has never been written simply to be read. And most ancient texts only make sense in recitation. But there are also many concepts, in mathematics, or engineering, or semiotics, that require (have always required) the scratch of the pen or, mouse, or stroke of the keyboard.

Whatever.