Sprig (possible trigger)
Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 2:14 pm
An older poem of mine that keeps coming to mind. Different circumstances back then, then there is now. But I'm finding the same feeling of brokeness.
Shattered, broken beyond repair
Lost my hope, embraced despair
Just a sprig, a broken branch of me
A fragment of who I used to be
Can't be fixed, Can't be repaired
I'm past the point where I can care
Just a fragmented soul, a tormented mind
Peices to small to find
Shivers of dark, shivers of light
That can never be fitted right
Like a kelidescope they turn
A new image burned
Some old, some new
Images that have been torn in two
I know I keep trying to tell myself I won't always feel this broken. This incomplete. I also know its early days yet, and I will even admit some are better than others. But all are fairly hard still. No matter how I act. I'm so used to keeping my feelings in that even now even when I feel like this, Im trying to hold back the full force of my emotions.
I know I will never be the same again. Life changes us sometimes whether we like it or not. By something in our control or out of it. And I try to remind myself that sometimes beauty can arise from brokeness but I don't see it this time.
Yet I know I tell others when they tell me they feel broken, and they can't be a whole again. I remind them of stained glass windows, and how they are made from broken pieces never the same as they were before. But made into something beautiful whether theyve been smashed, stepped on etc. They are made into something new, and something whole, and something beautiful.
Just get tired and discourage sometimes waiting on the window to be repaired. Down day here, but sending love and thoughts to you all.
Holly
Shattered, broken beyond repair
Lost my hope, embraced despair
Just a sprig, a broken branch of me
A fragment of who I used to be
Can't be fixed, Can't be repaired
I'm past the point where I can care
Just a fragmented soul, a tormented mind
Peices to small to find
Shivers of dark, shivers of light
That can never be fitted right
Like a kelidescope they turn
A new image burned
Some old, some new
Images that have been torn in two
I know I keep trying to tell myself I won't always feel this broken. This incomplete. I also know its early days yet, and I will even admit some are better than others. But all are fairly hard still. No matter how I act. I'm so used to keeping my feelings in that even now even when I feel like this, Im trying to hold back the full force of my emotions.
I know I will never be the same again. Life changes us sometimes whether we like it or not. By something in our control or out of it. And I try to remind myself that sometimes beauty can arise from brokeness but I don't see it this time.
Yet I know I tell others when they tell me they feel broken, and they can't be a whole again. I remind them of stained glass windows, and how they are made from broken pieces never the same as they were before. But made into something beautiful whether theyve been smashed, stepped on etc. They are made into something new, and something whole, and something beautiful.
Just get tired and discourage sometimes waiting on the window to be repaired. Down day here, but sending love and thoughts to you all.
Holly