my prision (may trigger)
Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:09 pm
I sit inside these four walls
And my tears slowly begin to fall
I stare at the window looking at my son
Watching as he has so much fun
Playing out in the yard
And like I always do I wish it wasn't so hard
For me to go out and watch him play
I ache to do it, but yet inside I still stay
I watch him toss the ball up in the air
And once again I think how its not fair
Not so long ago I would have played catch with him
I would give anything to have that back again
I hurt a little more each time he asks me out to play
And I always tell him some other day
These four walls, my so called home
Has been a prision for so long
I sit in the room, looking out at the nice day
Wishing for a better day
And the times I get out, I can't wait to get back in
And in my heart I know its not fair to him
I used to meet him at the bus
And I would listen to him fuss
About the day he had at school
But yet he'd think it cool
When I carried him in
And when people would say he's too big he'd look and grin
It's tradition he'd say
How I wish I could recapture those days
But they seem forever gone
And its hard to move on
And accept those days are behind me
And I may never be free
From these walls that keep me safe but close me in
Slowly dying wishing I could be free again
Not to pace when I'm outside,
Not to panic and want to hide
Even going to the store
Is becoming more and more of a chore
So once again I sit here these four walls
My tears slowly fall
The uncalled for fear keeps me in
Safe inside my prision again
And my tears slowly begin to fall
I stare at the window looking at my son
Watching as he has so much fun
Playing out in the yard
And like I always do I wish it wasn't so hard
For me to go out and watch him play
I ache to do it, but yet inside I still stay
I watch him toss the ball up in the air
And once again I think how its not fair
Not so long ago I would have played catch with him
I would give anything to have that back again
I hurt a little more each time he asks me out to play
And I always tell him some other day
These four walls, my so called home
Has been a prision for so long
I sit in the room, looking out at the nice day
Wishing for a better day
And the times I get out, I can't wait to get back in
And in my heart I know its not fair to him
I used to meet him at the bus
And I would listen to him fuss
About the day he had at school
But yet he'd think it cool
When I carried him in
And when people would say he's too big he'd look and grin
It's tradition he'd say
How I wish I could recapture those days
But they seem forever gone
And its hard to move on
And accept those days are behind me
And I may never be free
From these walls that keep me safe but close me in
Slowly dying wishing I could be free again
Not to pace when I'm outside,
Not to panic and want to hide
Even going to the store
Is becoming more and more of a chore
So once again I sit here these four walls
My tears slowly fall
The uncalled for fear keeps me in
Safe inside my prision again