Just Something

[JovianHalo13]

She read the words over one last time. She wanted to be sure she’d said all she wanted to say. She wouldn’t get another chance. She wanted them to know she loved them. That she wasn’t doing this to hurt them, but to spare them from further shame, and disappointment. She told them all how much she cared, how sorry she was, but she doubted they would even notice when she was gone. With all the love she had given, she still had no one. She was hurting and they refused to see, she was crying for help but they ignored her pleas. Now it was too late.

She had thought this all through, down to the very last detail. She had played it over and over in her mind as the days passed and she waiting for the time to come. She folded the paper she’d written on, placed it in an envelope, on the front she wrote in handwriting as neat as she’d ever written. To all I love. She left it sitting face up on her desk. Slowly as if she had all the time in the world, she walked to the closet. The place she had hidden so many times as a child in a game of hide and seek. The place she would die.

She closed the door, surrounded by darkness. She didn’t need to see. Her arms were covered in scars, old and new, faded and fresh. She held the blade in her left hand, she wasn’t left handed but she knew she would need the strength of her right hand to finish. She barely felt the pain, she was nearly numb, immune to it now. Though she couldn’t see the blood she could feel it, smell it. She felt the warmth of it running into her hand, dripping to her legs, to the floor. ‘One more time’ She thought ‘once more and it will all be over’ This time she felt no pain, though she couldn’t see she felt the walls around her begin to fade away. She was crying now, crying for all the ones she loved, all that she would miss. She cried for the mistakes she’d made, the shame she’d caused them, The pain she was leaving behind. Her tears mixed with her blood, crimson rain. She closed her eyes and let the darkness pull her deeper, casting her into the shadows to be forgotten.

Written August 21, 2008 12:30am.

[hey-its-ok]

wow... gosh... haven't read anything like this before in my life... i feel pain inside my heart for this person... it may be in the art section of this forum, it may be fiction, but still i have this strong urge to give her a tight hug and reassure her, tell her it all ok, everything is going to be alright, there are people who care, who loves her, and who will listen to her.......

[JovianHalo13]

wow... gosh... haven't read anything like this before in my life... i feel pain inside my heart for this person... it may be in the art section of this forum, it may be fiction, but still i have this strong urge to give her a tight hug and reassure her, tell her it all ok, everything is going to be alright, there are people who care, who loves her, and who will listen to her.......

Thank you for the reply. The situation is fiction as I, who wrote it, am still here. but the feeling, the pain, and the thoughts behind it are very real.

[hey-its-ok]

the fact that you have written this in such detail means that you have thought about this a lot and in detail... i hope you have not tried it before, and if you have, from the bottom of my heart i pray you don't try it again... life is a gift... a precious gift... we have to treasure it... tell your story in this forum, we are all listening here, and we will all go through your pain and sorrow together with you...