Depression Understood Forums

Once I had a job
It was my reason
It was my way of redemption
It took my job away
I have no redemption

Once I was a soldier
It was my pride
It took my legs
It took my uniform
I have no pride

Once I had a son
He was my light
He was the best I've done
It took my son
I have no light

I had a bike
It made me feel free
It made me feel I could escape
I can't ride
I am in prison

Now I keep the fight
Standing in my own prison,
my body and my head,
this hospital bed
No light, no pride…
no chance of redemption?

What will I lose next?
I see the possibilities aligning
Will I lose my words, my voice?
Will I lose my friends?
the ones that make me smile.
Will I lose the man I love?
He who is still by my side.
The most frightening of all
Will I lose myself?

How many battles you can lose
and keep the possibility of wining the war?
I'm less afraid of losing the war
Than wining,
and inherit a barren land.

If I win this war,
What will be left of me?
The battles are still on.
I wish I knew I can hold on.

(((Hugs)))

Thank you Pixie;

So much work to keep gearing up
for each next battle
isn't it?

I tell myself it has nothing to do with winning or losing.
I see the truth in that from looking at the past.
But to see the present and all around me you'd think the whole world
depends on me winning just this next battle.

So many people, though, nearing the end of days, [most really]
look me in the eye and tell me it's in how the battle was fought
and who we loved and how we loved
how we spend our time
how we wait.