A Couple More Old Writings

[JovianHalo13]

Title:How many
Written 2007

How many tears do I have to cry
Before I stop letting you hurt me
How many times do I have to lie
Before I actually start to believe

How many nights will I lay awake
Before nightmares haunt my day
How many times do I have to beg
Before you finally go away

How many heartaches will I suffer
Before I accept that we’re through
How many times do I have to say it
Before you realize that it’s true

How many times will you hurt me
Before I start forgetting how to feel
How many times will you lie to me
Before I can’t figure out what is real

How many words will you try to say
Before you’ll say that you love me
How many times will I try to pretend
Before I fall back into reality

Title:a poem to......"when(you are not alone)"
Written 2005

when there's nothing left to live for
and nothing left to gain
and the razor that u hold
leaves a bright red stain
what's the point in living
the way that u feel
knowing deel inside
that their love isn't real
when the tears fall from your eyes
and the pain inside you grows
and there's secrets you keep hidden
hoping no one knows
when the lies become too much
and u just can't take anymore
and the razor makes a stain
like so many times before
when the world seems to grow colder
and your heart has turned to stone
you know when i hold you
that you are not alone

when the days seem to last forever
and you dont know how much more you can take
becarefull of what u with fo
and the choices that u make
when you feel so empty inside
that you begin to wonder if you are there
remember that i'll always love you
and i will always be there
when you're not sure if you exist
and you cant tell between the real and a dream
when it all builds to the breaking point
and you just want to scream
when the first thing that you think of
is death in your own design
and the first thing that comes to mind
is always saying you're fine
when you wake crying in the darkness
and you're scared of the unknown
you'll know when u hear my voice
that you are not alone.

when your eyes begin to ache
and your tears start to bleed
asking, pleading for mercy
you've fallen to your knees
when you're ready to give up
and have no where else to turn
and an end to this nothingness
is the one thing that u yern
when the truth is more than u can take
so u make up your own lies
when people whisper and stare at you
you'll see it in their eyes
when you believe that you're nothing
and you life was just a big mistake
every day you're left knowing
the risks you must take
when all that was the past
makes it's presence known
you'll know when you feel my touch
that you are not alone.

Title: Daddy's Little Girl
Written 2005

he sat in his little girls bedroom night after night, hoping she would
come back again. he sat on the edge of her little bed, the bed with the
little rails on the side so she wouldn't fall out and get hurt, he'd taken
every precaution to make sure his baby girl was safe. How could this have happened?
"Daddy?"
He raised his head, his little girl stood at the door of her room. holding
her little teddy bear.
"What you doin daddy?" she asked in her innocent little voice.
"Nothin sweetheart." he answered half knowing she wasn't there at all,
just an empty room.
"Max wants a kiss before bed daddy." she said holding her ragged teddy out to him.
"Come here pumpkin." he whispered. he could feel the tears in his eyes.
"What's the matter daddy? why do you cry?" she asked as she walked forward to him. still holding out her bear.
"Nothin's the matter baby girl. i'm ok. come sit on daddy's lap." She climbed onto the bed next to him then onto his lap.
"Can max and i have a bed time kiss daddy?"
"Of course you can sweetheart." he gave the teddy a kiss on the cheek.
then he held his little girl close. he wrapped both his arms around her. he could actually feel her, maybe everything was alright, maybe it was only a dream, maybe his little girl was save here in his arms. he thought to himself as the tears fell. maybe his baby was still alive. He kissed the girl on the head and ran his hands over her long shiney brown hair. as he did so she disappeared. His little baby was gone, forever.
"I love you," he whispered. he bowed his head and cried.