I want more

[Obayan]

I sit here staring at 4 walls
I sit here in front of a computer screen
I just can't figure things out anymore
Why do people have to be so mean

My cats are running around
Playing as they so casually do
I want to run and play again
Instead of feeling so blue

I wake each day
With nothing on my to do list
All my hopes have faded away
Blowing in the wind like smoke wisps

I cook for a husband who isn't here
I clean for a family that has gone away
I write for an audience that doesn't exist
Why is it nobody will stay?

I move thru each day
Like a zombie from a horror show
Why has my life come to this?
I really would like to know.

Is this all there is left for me?
Will I ever feel happy again?
Why have I stalled in this place?
I pray I'll love again... amen.

It's so damn lonely
So empty and bare
Why can't I be in a coma?
Why do i have to be aware?

I'm talented, smart and lovely.
At least that's what people say.
I so wish I could see that.
Oh why am I this way?

There's so much pain
Kept hidden inside
I just want to dissapear
Just run and hide

If you only knew how weak i am
I'm not really strong
I hate myself and all i entail
And i know it's wrong

but I don't know how to stop
I don't know how to cope
I don't know how to get past this point
I don't know how to find hope

Say what you will
but this is me
It's how i feel
truth will set me free

I'm so needy and whiney
Even i get on my nerves most day
I have to learn to listen to myself
There has got to be a way

The advise i give
I never believe for real
Not when it applies to myself at least
I wish I could explain how i feel

I hate myself with loathe and contempt
I hate my life and all I stand for
I don't want to be this way
I really do want so much more

[hollyann]

(((((Obayan)))))))

[crystalgaze]

I want more also. ((((((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

One step at a time..... The hardest thing can be to take your own advice..... Indeed.....


All we can do is our best and try. As long as you don't give up trying entirely, there is hope--whether you believe it or you don't.

I wonder many of the same things... .Why do people have to be so mean? Indeed.....


(((((((((((((((((( for us all )))))))))))))))))))))