Pain

[inrecovery2011]

One day’s when the pain is so bad
The tears fall when I fight them
How can I cope with the amount of hatred I feel for myself my body
When nothing I do helps and all I want is an end to it all
I let my mind wonder to what ifs and who would be hurt to keep me from what I want to do
You would never understand the amount of pain I felt
Yes I know everyone has pain but when it goes far past what your mind can handle with
Both the physical and mental pain adding up
A snap comes that I can’t undo
A break in the reality of life comes on like a force like no other
I may seem healthy on the outside no reason for the hurt but I do none the less
A smile is harder to force on those days my sense of reality gone
While most days I can cope well those days when clothes and yes even my hair hurt
The emotions I cannot seem to control and the tears flow
Feeling so diminished I try to hide the fears that this will get worse
Feeling so much regret for who I am and the illnesses I have leave me empty
I try so hard to maintain a level of composure but some days I lose it
So hurt at what I do and say so empty and void of the meaning that I know is there
There has to be some way to ease what I feel yet no one knows the answers I seek
The doctors who I seek help from look at me with a sad face saying I can’t help you go home
The tears of not just pain come in but frustration
The frustration of feeling that there is no help for me to be had
I fear that the pain will get to the point I will snap never to come back to who I am
The loving person I usually am goes to the wayside as I search for answers to stop the pain that overwhelms my senses
To those I hurt I am truly sorry cause I never meant to cause any pain for I know what pain can be brought
By the cold words that can be said
I am truly sorry for who I am

[JoeFriend]

Food for thought and a good cry. You have spiritually fed me : )

[mistystarshine]

Great. I really like it.

[dougsan]

Very nice. It is quite easy to relate to your words. Thank you.