I can't breathe... (possible trigger)

[LauraW]

The depression is overwhelming lately. I feeling like I'm in a combination of drowning, choking, panicking. It's like I can't breathe. I've got tears constantly threatening to fall and when I'm alone I can't stop them. I went to the mental health unit at the hospital last year and had to tell my ex-husband so he could take the kids and now he's referring to my time there as "in the nuthouse". I have no friends at all. None. I live in a small town where it's very hard to break in to social circles. All this in a place I've lived for 16 years. The few I did have, my ex-husband got custody of in the divorce since I stayed home with the kids and they were all friends thru his work. I was in a fatal car accident one year ago this week that they blamed me for because I was passing and the cars wouldn't let me in, so I have that guilt on top of so much more. It's so hard to get out of bed in the morning and I find it hard to speak, breathe and have to have financial assistance from my parents because my expenses exceed my income AND it looks like I'll be laid off next month due to cutbacks... I'm so overwhelmed! I want so badly to just die, it'd be so much easier. I hate that I have to live to make other people, my kids, my parents, happy. It's so unfair.

[Obayan]

Sweetie, you need to talk to a counselor. I know it's hard, but there are a lot of tools out there for us to use and therapy is one of those tools. I'm so sorry you feel so bad and so many things have happened to you.

((( laura ))) <--- hug